


Falling in the Wrong Direction

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, He is still present in flashbacks, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Liam has passed away, M/M, MCD (offscreen), Movie Fusion, Movie: Catch & Release, Past Character Death, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24696094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: When Harry’s fiancé, Liam, passes away just before their wedding, he doesn’t know how to cope. As time goes on, Harry learns to heal, but is left living in the house his fiancé used to share with his best friends and Harry is uncovering a lot of secrets he didn’t know Liam had... while possibly falling for the one person who helped Liam keep them from him.Harry never quite got along with Louis, but maybe he’s the one person who can help Harry bridge the gap between the life he thought he would have and the one he is now living.A Catch and Release au
Relationships: Harry Styles/Liam Payne (past), Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Sophia Smith (past)
Comments: 52
Kudos: 262
Collections: One Direction Big Bang Round 3





	Falling in the Wrong Direction

**Author's Note:**

> Please pay special attention to the tags on this one. In this fic, Liam has passed away before it opens and he appears only in flashbacks. I have not tagged Major Character Death directly because does not happen during the course of the fic.
> 
> Special thank you’s to everyone who helped me reach the end of this fic in time. To my beta, Lynda, and my fic dom, Sus, 😘😘😘 thank you for being with me from the very first moment! Thanks to the mods for being so cool and my chats for always being encouraging. To Boss, Micheala, and Michelle ❤️❤️❤️.

The amazing moodboard and [Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6cRZYPKqQ9YNwsveXMltOX?si=NAxXCvUSRN6W3IwIcksDpg) were made by [larryatendoftheday](https://larryatendoftheday.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. Thank you so much for your beautiful work!

Harry watches from the living room window as the van from Burges’ Flowers stops at the kerb. He stares, numb, as the driver gets out and begins to unload the fifty centerpieces for the tables that were supposed to be at his wedding reception. There are 16 bouquets in the van too, he knows, but he doesn’t get to see them because someone shows up to mercifully inform the poor delivery man that there will be no wedding today. He watches as they help him reload the flowers he’s already paid for but won’t get the chance to use. Maybe they can be donated for something else. He thinks Liam would like that, knowing that their flowers are getting a second life. Or a first one. 

He’d thought he couldn’t cry anymore but apparently he was wrong as he feels wetness slipping down his cheeks. His throat grows tight as he tries to fight it. He can’t let himself dissolve into sobs, not here. Not with Liam’s family and friends surrounding him, all of them trying to be strong too. Harry refuses to be the weak link, the one that sends all the others into a dizzying spiral of despair. They’ve already lost Liam. Breaking down now will do nothing but hurt them more, hurt _Harry_ more. He sniffs and wipes at his cheeks as subtly as he can manage.

Liam’s sisters, Nicola and Ruth, stop by and chat with him for a few minutes, hugging him tightly. They tell him that he’ll always be their brother even though he and Liam never got the chance to make it official. They try to cheer him up with stories, try to make him smile again but all they do is reflect his own sadness back at him. It’s an endless loop of sorrow that makes it more than a little difficult to breathe.

Harry endures the condolences of several of Liam’s family members, all of them relaying how much they regret that he didn’t quite make it into the family, when he suddenly just needs to get _away_. There’s a crushing weight on his chest, squeezing his lungs, and he needs to be somewhere far from this crowd of people who mean well but inevitably just continue to make it worse.

“Please, excuse me,” Harry interrupts Liam’s aunt mid-sentence, squeezing her forearm lightly in apology before he rushes away, making a run for the stairs. He knows he wasn’t fast enough that she didn’t see the way his face crumpled before he could turn away but, hopefully, he’ll be able to make it to the upstairs bathroom in time to keep everyone from hearing the way he’s gasping for his next breath and trying not to choke on his tears.

It’s a giant relief when he pushes through the bathroom door, closing it swiftly behind him and leaning back on it to take a deep, shaky breath. The weight on his lungs seems to have lifted now that there aren’t eyes watching him from every corner of the house. He doesn’t think he can go back down there to that den of unbearable sadness. He’s miserable enough on his own without the melancholy of every other person at Liam’s wake permeating every single room Harry walks into.

Harry’s eyes fall to the bathtub on the other side of the room. It’s an old fashioned claw foot tub that he and Liam had shared many a bubble bath in. Those days were some of their happiest times. No matter how difficult the day started, a soothing bath together always made the world feel right again. He smiles sadly at the memory.

~*~*~

_“Hard day?” Harry asks, settling himself in Liam’s lap, their bath filled with_ _sweet-smelling_ _bubbles. His hair is in a bun, a few small curls falling out at the nape of his neck._

 _Liam kisses his neck_ _affectionately, drawing his lips softly over Harry’s skin_ _. He’s always told Harry that he looks beautiful with his hair up like that, his face mirrors the sentiment as Harry twists his head to look back at his boyfriend_ _and Liam gives him a crinkly-eyed smile full of warmth and love_ _. “It’s getting better every second.”_

 _“Flatterer,” Harry smiles, taking hold of Liam’s wrists and wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso, making him hug him from behind,_ _and holding on to his arms in the hopes that he’ll feel Harry’s love in return._

 _“It’s not flattery if I mean every word from the bottom of my heart,” Liam argues_ _sweetly_ _, tightening the embrace under Harry’s hands as though he’s not planning to let him let go_ _ever again_ _. “It’s just_ _the_ _truth.”_

_“What am I going to do with you?” Harry wonders aloud fondly, turning his head to press a kiss to Liam’s lips._

_“I had a thought about that actually,” Liam answers, gently tugging his arms out from under Harry’s hands so that he can turn and lean over the side of the tub to get at their towels._

_Harry watches, confused because they only just got into the tub and now it seems that Liam plans to get out. He doesn’t though, simply reaching under his towel and pulling back a black, velvet box_ _he must have hidden there when Harry wasn’t paying attention_ _. He turns his gaze back to Harry, watching him intently as he holds the box out_ _and_ _popping the lid open for Harry’s inspection._

_“You could marry me.”_

~*~*~

Harry walks forward and steps over the side of the tub, one leg and then the other, before he lowers himself to sit in the same spot he sat when Liam proposed to him. He was speechless then, he remembers, only managing to nod and spill happy tears until Liam kissed the breath back into his lungs, and his voice re-awoke with a litany of ‘yes’s.

Harry sprawls his legs out in the tub and he leans back against the wall of porcelain, not caring how his suit jacket is sort of scrunched up at his back. He can rest here, safe in the happy memories of the man he gave his heart to. He doesn’t have to dwell on the fact that Liam is gone now, he doesn’t have to deal with carrying on without him. Not yet. Not until tomorrow.

He pulls the curtain shut around him and covers his eyes with his hands, taking a deep breath and delving back into the memories he never wants to lose.

It hasn’t been five minutes before the bathroom door slams open, banging against the wall and startling Harry back into the present.

“ _Ahhhh_ ,” a high, female voice moans breathily and Harry thinks he hears a familiar chuckle before whoever has intruded on his sanctuary is crashing into the sink.

The girl giggles and Harry is certain that he hears the distinct rustle of clothes being removed. He stares wide-eyed and disbelieving at the shadows moving beyond the shower curtain, jaw-dropping when the sound of a zipper being undone confirms his suspicions.

He considers peeking around the curtain to see who it is out there having sex in the middle of a wake, but isn’t sure he wants to endure the visual.

The giggles suddenly turn into pleasured moans and Harry is suddenly very certain he’s made the right decision to not look.

“Give it to me,” the girl says, repeating herself over and over again as the two go at, and Harry can’t help but roll his eyes at the lack of imagination when it comes to dialogue.

After a minute or two of hearing the exact same phrase repeated on a non-stop loop, Harry can’t help but hope for the poor mysterious guy’s sake that it’s over soon. For his own sake too, because he doesn’t want to be sitting here all day, at least not with company. Definitely not _this_ company.

Soon, the moans taper off into laughter again and it sounds like the unruly couple have finally finished, much to Harry’s great relief.

The next second, Harry can hear water running from the faucet and he’s content with the knowledge that he’s about to have his place of peace to himself again when the girl begins to speak.

“Employees must wash their hands before returning to work,” she recites with a sarcastic tone as she laughs.

Harry’s eyes narrow. If she’s an employee, that means she must be with the catering service. The catering service that Harry chose for his wedding, the service that’s catering on the most miserable day of his life that was supposed to have been the happiest. If she’s an employee, then that means _Harry_ is the one she’s working for. He doesn’t appreciate her getting paid his wedding money to be having sex at his fiancé’s wake. He almost tosses the curtain open right then, tempted to say something to her but he doesn’t. He’s suddenly very tired and wishes the amorous couple would just leave him to his peace already.

“Call me,” he hears the girl say after what sounds like the uncapping of a pen.

The door opens and closes and for one blissful second, Harry thinks he’s finally alone again, but then there’s a heavy sigh and the faucet turns on once more. Just long enough to maybe wash away an unwanted phone number?

When the faucet is turned off, Harry thinks his mysterious interloper will leave, but he doesn’t. There’s another sigh, even wearier than before, followed by the flick of a lighter.

Harry can take it no more and stands, ripping open the curtain and staring in dismay and outrage at his unwanted guest that is now _smoking in his house_.

“Holy fuck!” The man shouts, startled at the presence of another person in the room, but then he turns and sees who it is standing there, and the smile that was growing on his face as he prepared to laugh at himself falls. “Oh, shit. Harry.”

Harry turns away from him, ignoring him as he steps out of the tub and walks to the door. Rethinking it, he turns and yanks the cigarette from the other man’s mouth, dropping it unceremoniously in the toilet before moving toward the door again.

“Uh,” the other man starts, like he thinks maybe he should apologize or at least say _something_.

Harry stops, hand on the door handle, and twists to face him, raising a questioning eyebrow and giving him a chance that Harry doesn’t really believe he deserves.

The man stares pitifully, not saying anything at all and Harry isn’t really surprised. He’s used to being let down by Louis Tomlinson.

Harry opens the bathroom door and steps through, pulling it shut behind him with finality.

~*~*~

Harry sits uncomfortably across from the solicitor in charge of Liam’s estate. He’s not really sure why he’s here. He and Liam didn’t get married so all of Liam’s belongings will go to his mother. He and Liam didn’t have any shared titles. Harry’s car is his own, his house is a rental. _Shit_ , a rental that he can’t afford anymore on his own.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and tries to will away the panic. It’s not like he’s got no one to turn to. He has friends. He has Niall and Zayn. They’ve been roommates forever so he doesn’t have the heart to ask one of them to move in with him, but they still have the room Liam used to stay in before he and Harry moved in together. Maybe Harry can stay with them for a little while. Or, he supposes, he could move back in with his mum if need be. He has options, there’s no need for alarm just yet.

“Are you alright, Mr. Styles,” the solicitor asks. Harry thinks he should probably feel bad that he’s already forgotten the man’s name but he can’t feel much of anything lately.

“Fine,” Harry lies. “Why am I here again?”

“I just have a few questions to ask, just to get Liam’s affairs in order,” he assures Harry, pulling out a piece of paper and sliding it across the desk to him. “Where’s the paperwork for this big account?”

Harry reaches forward and pulls the paper to him, looking it over. He’s not entirely sure what he’s looking at. “What big account?”

“There’s £48,000 on his tax return but I’m not seeing any statements for it.” The solicitor states, pointing out the account on the printout.

“Um,” Harry’s not sure what he’s talking about. “Is that his savings?”

“No, the £48,000 is interest, Mr. Styles. So, for an account to generate that, the balance would have to be… around a million pounds.”

Harry stares down at the paper. He doesn’t know what to feel right now besides a little bit betrayed and he wishes he could just go back to being numb. Taking a deep, shaky breath Harry pushes the paper back toward the solicitor. He knows nothing about such a large account and tells him as much. All he knows is that, all these years, Liam was apparently keeping a pretty big secret.

~*~*~

“A million pounds?!?” Niall repeats for the umpteenth time as he carries another box to the moving truck. He can’t seem to get over the fact that Liam was apparently secretly rich. Harry had kept it to himself for a little while, ruminating over it on his own but now that he’s moving in with them, he thought he should share the news with his friends. Maybe they can help put to rest some of the questions he can’t answer.

“He probably inherited it from his dad, right? I mean, the man was obscenely rich,” Zayn says, setting his box down on the back of the truck and using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his brow. He’s always had a tendency to look for the best in Liam. Sometimes Harry wonders if Zayn wasn’t a little bit in love with him too.

“Maybe,” Harry concedes as he starts back toward the house for more of his stuff. If he doesn’t put too much thought into what he’s doing, what he’s leaving behind, he might be able to get through this. He’s not sure the current conversation is helping much if the tightening in his chest is anything to go by. He can’t stop the ruminations of his mind on the subject though. It’s just so bizarre that Liam had kept such a huge secret from him. “But why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“I’m sure he had a good reason,” Zayn offers following behind him. He stops to rub Harry’s shoulders briefly in a soothing gesture while they look around, considering what to take out next. Packed into these boxes are so many pieces of a life that was supposed to be.

Harry’s sure that Zayn must be right, but he’d really like to know what that reason was. And now he probably never will.

“Honestly,” Niall pipes up as he walks in, flopping down on the couch that is, thankfully, not going in the moving truck and proceeding to be absolutely no help whatsoever as he makes himself comfortable. “It’s not really any of our business. Not even mine, and I was his business partner. I mean, it wasn’t business money, so.”

“I just,” Harry sighs as he moves towards another box. “I just didn’t think we kept secrets from each other.”

The other two fall silent, knowing that this has Harry questioning things and having no idea what to tell him.

“Maybe he was going to surprise you,” Zayn says suddenly, the idea just occurring to him.

“Yeah, on your honeymoon,” Niall agrees. “That would be just like Liam.”

Harry smiles at the thought. Liam was always really good at surprises. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely. You know he’d love to surprise you with something like that,” Niall says, untwisting the cap on a bottle of water. He drinks deeply from it, rivulets missing his mouth a falling down to wet his shirt.

Harry feels tears prickling in his eyes and he doesn’t want to cry again, even if his tears aren’t entirely sad this time. “Niall!” he scolds, rubbing at his eyes. “Do not make a mess on that couch or you’ll be the one cleaning it up.”

Zayn scoffs at the same time as Niall laughs at the mere thought. Yeah, like Niall has ever cleaned anything a day in his life.

“I think this is the last one,” Zayn says an hour later, picking up the only remaining box of Harry’s stuff to take to the truck. He seems hesitant to walk out with it though. 

“Okay, thanks. I’ll be out in a minute,” Harry tells him, pretending that he can’t see the pity in Zayn’s gaze as he accepts Harry’s reply.

Harry waits until he’s alone to take one last look around the living room. He’s not quite as sad to see the place go as he thought he’d be, though he’s sure he’ll feel the loss later. Right now, all his good memories are tainted with a film of uncertainty that he can’t seem to see past. 

Sighing, Harry moves to the threshold and, with one last glimpse behind him, closes the door on what was once the best chapter of his life. 

~*~*~

Zayn watches after dinner a few days later as Harry takes another sleeping pill. Since Harry moved in with them, Zayn can see how the nights are hard on Harry. He’s staying in Liam’s old room, the one Zayn and Niall hadn’t rented out since Liam left to get a place with Harry. He’d still stay there sometimes when he got home late from business trips, not wanting to wake up Harry who he knew was a light sleeper, whereas Zayn and Niall could both sleep through a hurricane. It’s just like Liam left it and seeing that must be really hard on Harry. Zayn sees him stalling going to bed, watching television or cleaning until the pills kick in and he has an excuse to pass out on the couch. His heart breaks because he knows Harry’s really hurting and it’s not something that’s going to go away easily.

“Hey,” Zayn says, stopping Harry as he looks for something else to do since he’s cleaned all that he can possibly clean. “Why don’t you bunk in my room tonight? We can put on one of Niall’s cheesy sci-fi flicks and make fun of it until we pass out, just like old times.”

Harry smiles at the memory. The four of them used to pick out the worst movies they could find and talk through the whole thing, making jokes, arguing about plausibility. A time or two, Louis had joined them once he’d moved back to town, but he always played the devil’s advocate, going against everyone else’s opinions simply for the sake of argument and making someone (usually Harry) eventually lose their temper when it was supposed to all be fun and games. Harry would even take another night in Louis’ presence to have it all back.

“Thanks, Zayn. That sounds like fun,” Harry agrees.

It is fun... for about half an hour until Harry falls asleep. Still, Harry falls asleep in an actual bed, warm and comfortable, and that’s what Zayn was really trying for so, mission accomplished.

~*~*~

Harry blinks his eyes open slowly. It’s still dark out so he’s confused about why he’s awake. But then he realises that there are arms around his waist. Arms that are warm and caring and _wrong._ The wrongness is compounded by a soft huff of breath against the back of his neck that doesn’t belong there.

Harry tenses up but stops himself from outright throwing himself off the bed, remembering suddenly that he fell asleep in Zayn’s bed last night. It’s Zayn’s arms around him, trying to give him comfort even in sleep.

Harry inches out of Zayn’s hold at an excruciatingly slow pace, careful not to wake him. Maybe it was an accident, maybe Zayn just latches on to anyone that falls asleep next to him. Or maybe it’s painfully clear how alone Harry feels now, even in the company of his friends. But whether it was intended as comfort or not, Harry doesn’t think he can stomach it any longer. 

He wishes he could let himself lay there, let himself be held and blanketed in affection but he can’t when it’s the wrong person holding him. He wishes that he could at least be numb but as much as he wants to, he can’t shut off the pain even though there are moments where it hurts so bad he can’t catch his breath.

Tiptoeing out of the room, Harry plans to grab the blanket off his own bed and retire to the couch, but as he approaches the door to his room, he’s not sure he can open it. It was _Liam’s_ before it was his and, together, they’d made some pretty amazing memories there. Harry pauses, hand on the doorknob as he gets lost in one of them.

~*~*~

_“Do you want to come in?” Liam asks nervously, holding his house keys in his hand. It’s their fifth date and they haven’t slept together yet but Harry’s not sure if it’s because_ Liam _isn’t ready or if he’s just been trying to go at whatever pace Harry wants. “My roommates are out so it’d just be us but… that doesn’t have to mean anything. I could make us some tea and we could watch a film if you want. Or we could—”_

_He’s cut off by Harry leaning in and capturing his lips in a soft kiss._

_“—do more of that,” Liam mumbles when Harry pulls back again. “We could definitely do more of that.”_

_Harry smirks, proud that he has the power to make Liam a little kiss drunk with a single press of his lips and a small swipe of his tongue. “I’d love to come in.”_

_“Okay,” Liam grins back, looking at Harry with relief and adoration and almost forgetting to unlock the door until Harry raises an amused eyebrow and looks at it pointedly. “Oh!” He springs into action, unlocking the door and swinging it open for Harry to walk through first._

_Harry looks around as Liam flips on the light and closes the door behind them. It’s a nice house. He smiles at a picture of a pre-teen Liam that’s up on the wall. He’s singing on a stage and he looks like a little star._

_“Oh, don’t look at that,” Liam chuckles nervously, putting his hand over the picture. “Niall put that up when we were drunk one night. I just forgot to take it down.”_

_“I think it’s cute,” Harry argues. “You were an adorable kid.”_

_“Oh. Thanks,” Liam laughs lightly again. “I’d rather not be thought of as adorable right now though.”_

_“Fair enough,” Harry agrees with a smirk, moving closer to run his fingers over Liam’s bicep. “I can think of a few other ways to describe you that you might like.” He’s never really been the one to be bold at the start of a new relationship but he’s never been as drawn to someone as he is to Liam._

_“I’m listening,” Liam smiles, drawing Harry in further._

_“Me too,” a new voice states, making them break apart suddenly._

_Standing in the kitchen archway with his arms crossed over his chest is a man with brown hair and blue eyes, he’s wearing a wide smile and enjoying this wayyyy too much. A second man steps up behind him with black hair and a chiselled jaw that belongs in an art museum._

_“I know_ I’m _all ears,” the second man states._

_“Guys,” Liam grits through his teeth, glancing at Harry quickly before turning back to them. “I thought you two were going to be out of the house tonight. In fact, I made sure of it.”_

_“Yeah, sorry,” the smiley brunette says, making something resembling an apologetic face. “My date cancelled. It’s flu season, you know.”_

_“I still have a date. I was just leaving,” the other man adds, pulling on his jacket. “Don’t worry. I’ll drop Niall off at the movies or something on my way.”_

_“Oooh. A movie!” Niall rejoices, pausing to ask, “you’re paying, right?”_

_“Yes, Niall. I’ll pay,” the man rolls his eyes, offering Harry a tired smile. “Hi, I’m Zayn, by the way.”_

_“Harry.” Harry shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.”_

_“Oooh,” Niall sing-songs, grinning at Liam. “So_ this _is the ‘Harry’ we’ve heard so much about.”_

_“Please leave now,” Liam says urgently with wide-eyed panic, reaching for Harry’s hand and pulling him towards his bedroom before either of his friends can say any more._

_Harry’s still laughing at the look on Liam’s face when Liam pulls him into the room, slamming the door on his friends and pushing Harry up against the back of it. Suddenly it doesn’t feel like a time for laughter._

_“Now, where were we?” Liam murmurs huskily, hunger in his eyes. Harry resists the urge to tease him and ask questions. He’d much rather be kissing him right now. So he does._

_Harry’s first time being in Liam’s room, he didn’t even really see it until the next morning._

~*~*~

Swallowing hard, Harry turns the knob on Liam’s bedroom door. He can only see what the moonlight reveals but he recognizes Liam’s desk across from the window, the bookshelf next to it full of textbooks that Liam kept from University and little trinkets decorating each shelf, and the edge of his bed, still dressed with a dark blue duvet.

Slowly, Harry walks across the room and stands next to the bed. Now that his eyes have adjusted, he can see how messy it still is, the duvet all lumpy and dishevelled. Tears fill his vision as he stares because it almost looks like someone’s still sleeping there, tucked under the covers, warm and snuggled in tight. Harry’s heart yearns to be snuggled with him. 

Harry reaches down and pulls the duvet up, just enough to slip underneath without disturbing the lumpy bits. It might be pathetic but he’d like to pretend that it’s Liam for just a little while longer. He cuddles up to the mound of covers and throws his arm over them, alright with not being the little spoon this time until he realises with horror just how solid the mound is and that it’s suddenly moving under his arm. 

“What the fuck?” a voice yells in the darkness, sending Harry scrambling backward with an undignified shriek and plummeting off the side of the bed where he lands in a terrified heap on the floor.

“Harry?” Louis asks curiously, peering over the edge of the bed.

At the sight of Louis Tomlinson’s face, all the fright and embarrassment Harry was feeling only moments ago evaporates as he stands from the floor, dusting himself off with his cold glare on Louis the entire time.

“What the hell are you doing in Liam’s bed, Louis?”

“Uh, sleeping. What does it look like?” Louis answers groggily with his usual level of snark.

Harry rolls his eyes and places his hands on his hips as he stares at Louis with unbridled irritation. “Let me rephrase. _Why_ the hell are you sleeping in Liam’s bed?”

“Ugh,” Louis groans, flopping back down on the pillows. “Do we have to do this now?”

“Excuse you. This is technically my room now, so you’re the one intruding, not me,” Harry informs him sharply.

“Wait, you live here? What happened to your house?” Louis asks, lifting his head to look at Harry again, face a mess of sleepiness and confusion. Harry had forgotten for a moment that it’s been a little while since Louis has been butting his nose into his business.

“It was a rental.” Harry crosses his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor as he adds more softly, “and too big for one person.”

“Right,” Louis says, the air between them suddenly awkward. “Sorry.”

“Can you just tell me what you’re doing here, Louis?”

Louis sits up, running a hand through his hair and blowing a breath out of puffed cheeks before answering, “I had a late dinner meeting with a potential client and didn’t want to go back to my mum’s and possibly wake the whole family so Niall said I could crash here. He did mention you’d be here, now that I think about it but it didn’t occur to me that you might have moved in with them.”

“Okay, I understand crashing here,” Harry says, his irritation fading a little at the mention of Louis’ family. He remembers hearing about how Louis had lived in L.A. for a couple of years right after uni. He’d become a promising up-and-coming director in Hollywood but had moved back home after his mother’s divorce. He’d missed the opening of his one film credit but had come back with no hesitation to move in with his mother and six siblings to help take care of them. Harry had always thought it was impressively selfless and caring, heroic even. It was Louis’ one redeeming quality as far as Harry was concerned. “Can’t fault you for that, but you still haven’t told me why you’re in Liam’s bed.”

Louis scratched the back of his neck, giving Harry an uncertain face. “I did it sort of out of habit?”

Harry’s eyebrows raise and he gives Louis his most impressive bitch face as he says “Excuse me?!?”

“No, nothing like that,” Louis scoffs, waving a hand at Harry as though he can wipe away whatever mental image Harry has drudged up. “When Liam lived here and we went out somewhere together and didn’t pull, I crashed here afterward. And when he moved in with you, I still crashed here. Same reason as now, I just didn’t want to crash into my mum’s drunk at arse o’clock in the morning, you know?”

“Oh,” Harry says, letting his defensive stance fall into something less strained. “Yeah, okay.”

“Hey,” Louis says, looking at Harry with sadness in his eyes, maybe understanding too. “I miss him too, you know. I know that day, after the funeral, that wasn’t me at my best. But people grieve in weird ways, right?”

And just like that, Harry’s defenses go back up. “Excuse me if I’m skeptical that fucking one of the catering staff was your way of grieving.” He reaches down and whips the duvet off the bed, leaving Louis covered with only a sheet. “I’m taking this to sleep on the couch.”

Louis sighs as the door clicks shut behind Harry. He’s made it a habit of making Harry dislike him for so long, it seems to have become second nature. 

~*~*~

_“He’s gonna be here any minute,” Liam says, rushing around still trying to clean things he’d already cleaned earlier._

_Louis laughs at his best mate as he runs circles around the room. He’s honestly so excited about meeting the man that makes Liam this frantic to impress him. “Harry’s already seen the house before, right? Why are you so worried about it?” Louis asks, lifting a few kernels of popcorn to his mouth. He’s not supposed to be eating it yet but Liam hasn’t noticed so he’s taking his chances._

_“Because he’s special, Louis,” Liam snaps, finally noticing Louis eating and pulling the bowl from his hands, cursing when some of the popcorn spills onto the floor. “Shit.”_

_Louis sobers as Liam bends to clean up the spilled kernels, watching as he glances at the clock and curses again. “You’re really serious about him, huh?” Louis realises, scooting down to the floor to help Liam clean._

_“Thank you,” Liam breathes out, sitting back on his heels once the floor is clean. “And yes, I am. I’m introducing him to_ ** _you_** _,_ _aren’t I?”_

_“Well, yeah, but it’s not like I’m your mum, Li,” Louis scoffs, standing to throw away the mess of popcorn gathered in his hands._

_“I know that Louis, but apart from my sisters, you’re the other most important person in my life,” Liam says, following Louis to the bin. “You’re the step before introducing him to mum.”_

_Louis pauses in brushing the small popcorn bits from his hands to search Liam’s face. He sees the signs of anxiety for Harry’s impending visit in the frown lines on his forehead but there’s something desperate and hopeful in his eyes that really drives it home for Louis just how important this night is to Liam. “Holy shit. You love him.”_

_“I--,” Liam stops to clear his throat, not looking at Louis right away. “I mean, I had hoped to tell_ **_him_ ** _first but yeah. I do, Lou.”_

_Louis smiles at his friend. It’s been a long time since Liam’s even allowed himself to entertain thoughts of getting close to someone. His relationship with his father had fucked him up royally in his teenage years, causing so much internalized homophobia, Liam would have done anything to prove himself worthy to the man. Even though Liam’s father passed half a decade ago, Louis can tell Liam still struggles at being comfortable with himself. It’s really good that he’s found someone who can make him feel like opening up to them. “That’s good, Li,” he says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really glad you met some that can make you feel that way. Have you told him about...”_

_Liam is already shaking his head as Louis trails off. They try not to talk about that part of Liam’s life unless absolutely necessary. “Not yet,” Liam answers, something pleading in his gaze. “I’m not ready for that yet.”_

_“Okay, I won’t mention anything,” Louis assures him, putting both his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “Promise.”_

_“Thanks, Lou,” Liam lets out a breath in relief just as the doorbell rings. “Oh god, he’s here.”_

_“Relax,” Louis chuckles, patting Liam’s cheek. “You go get the door. I’ll make sure there’s no stray popcorn kernels plotting a coup.”_

_“Shut up,” Liam snorts, smacking Louis’ shoulder as he moves around him, stopping for a second to call back, “and Lou, thanks.”_

_“Best not keep your boy waiting,” Louis nods toward the door, not letting it be the big deal Liam is making it. Liam’s happiness is Louis’ biggest concern at the moment. Louis would never do anything to come in the way of it._

_He’s carrying the popcorn bowl back to the kitchen to pop a new batch and refill what was lost when Liam walks in with Harry at his heels._

_“Louis, hang on. Before you do that,” Liam stops him, pulling Harry to stand next to him by the hands they have clasped together between them, “I’d like you to meet Harry. Harry, this is my best mate Louis.”_

_When Louis’ eyes meet Harry’s, he can swear that time stands still for a moment. Harry’s the one that gets time moving again, giving Louis a dimpled smile and reaching out a hand._

_“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Harry says sweetly. “I’ve heard so much about you.”_

_“Er, yeah. Likewise,” Louis manages to say, shaking Harry’s hand the way he’s supposed to. “I was just, uh, refreshing the popcorn. You two relax, I’ll be right back.”_

_After sending Harry to the living room ahead of him, Liam turns back to Louis with a soft, “hey, you ok?”_

_“Yeah, I’m great,” Louis answers with a shrug that hopefully looks a lot more nonchalant than it is._

_“You sure?” Liam raises a brow at him. “You got a little weird for a second.”_

_“Never weirder than you, Leemo,” he tries to play it off with a joke and thankfully Liam lets him, snorting and leading that way back to the living room._ _There’s no way he can tell Liam how attracted to his boyfriend he is._ _Maybe if he looks for a flaw in Harry’s personality, his problem will fix itself._

_“So Harry,” Louis asks sitting down in an armchair while Liam cuddles up to Harry. “What do you do?”_

_“Oh, nothing very glamorous, I’m afraid,” Harry smiles shyly. “I’m a bioinformatics data manager. Which basically just means that I gather and analyse scientific data for drug development, crop improvement, things like that.”_

_“Holy shit.”_

_He’s smart, and modest. These are not things Louis can add to the arsehole column he’s trying to build in Harry’s name. In fact, Louis’ kind of in awe of him._

_“Maybe it doesn’t sound glamorous but it does sound important,” Louis tells him._

_Harry smiles at Louis’ assessment, a warm pink tinging his cheeks. “Yeah, maybe. I’d like to think so.”_

_“Oh shit,” Liam says suddenly, turning to his boyfriend. “I should have asked, do you want anything, babe? Something to drink? Some of the popcorn Louis is hogging?”_

_Louis snorts like a pig, tossing a handful of popcorn at Liam’s head and then very pointedly sitting the bowl in the middle of the coffee table. He only thinks to remember once it’s too late how Liam had reacted to having popcorn on the floor earlier but Liam doesn’t seem bothered now. Maybe he doesn’t care so long as Harry knows that it’s Louis’ mess and not his own. Louis still kneels to clean it up._

_“Uh,” Harry seems unsure what to make of the moment, laughing lightly and telling Liam that he’d love some wine if they have it._

_When Liam leaves to get the wine, Harry kneels to help Louis._

_“Oh, you don’t have to do that. It’s my mess,” Louis tries to tell him but it doesn’t deter Harry._

_“It’s alright, I’m happy to help.”_

_Sweet and helpful do not belong in the arsehole column either and Louis has to force himself to take a deep breath and back away from the pretty boy he cannot allow himself to want._

_“Here you go,” Liam reenters the room, carrying a glass of white wine for Harry and Louis feels a flood of relief at the sight of him. He’d never do anything to ruin things for Liam, he wouldn’t allow himself, but his resolve feels a million times more tangible when Liam is actually physically there._

_“Let me take that,” Louis offers his hands to take the popcorn Harry has picked up so that he can accept his drink while Louis throws away the mess. He brings back something for Harry to clean off his hands with and has to bite his lip when Harry thanks him for being so considerate._

_He’s effortlessly polite, too. Louis' dying a little inside._

_“So, do we want to watch a film?” Liam asks, getting cosy at Harry’s side again._

_“Yeah, I’m down for whatever,” Louis says, praying that Harry agrees so that he can have something else to focus on for a little while. “Harry?”_

_“Sure,” Harry agrees, letting Louis breathe a little easier._

_“How about The Dark Knight?” Liam suggests, looking to Harry for input._

_“Oh, yeah sure,” Harry smiles at him._

_“Cool,” Louis jumps up to grab Liam’s much-loved copy of the film and start the disc. Something gritty and dark should do well to help keep him distracted._

_Louis only becomes more and more attracted to Harry as the night -and the film- goes on._

_Harry is so funny, making jokes occasionally that have Louis laughing like a madman. He’s also kind and attentive, always checking to make sure that he’s not ruining the movie for Liam before making any more comments_ _and Louis realises that he’s going to need to put some serious distance between the two of them before his attraction becomes a real problem._

_The decision made, Louis forces himself to be a bit of dick the rest of the night._

_He starts making “funny” comments too, sometimes making them possibly slightly offensive and sometimes interrupting Harry to get his comments out first. Basically, he does the opposite of what Harry does, ignoring Liam’s looks of irritation to press on with his dumb jokes, playing a willing fool for the sake of everyone in the room even if two-thirds of them don’t know it._

_He walks a thin line, trying not to make Liam much more than_ _annoyed_ _or make Harry_ _want to_ _leave early, but enough that by the end of the night, when Louis needs to head home_ _before it gets too late_ _, Harry looks relieved to be rid of him._

_He knows that Liam will be upset with him and ask him what happened later. He’ll surely notice the switch that Louis flipped but Louis will cross that bridge when he comes to it, confident that for now at least, he’s done the right thing._

~*~*~

“Hey, just so you know, I got a call from that client this morning and I’ll be working on a commercial for the next few days that’s going to have a lot of night shoots. Niall said I could crash here again if that’s cool with you and Zayn,” Louis tells Harry at breakfast the next day, watching his face for a reaction.

“Oh,” Harry looks down at his food instead of Louis’ face. “Yeah, I’m okay with it if Zayn is.”

“Okay, thanks.” Louis gives him a small smile of gratitude even though Harry doesn’t look up to see it. Honestly, he’d anticipated a little bit of a fuss from Harry so it’s a relief to not have to fight him on it.

Later, after Louis has gotten Zayn’s permission too but before Harry leaves for work, Harry walks out to the couch looking at Louis pointedly as he drops several blankets and a pillow on it. “Enjoy the couch.”

Louis probably should have expected that.

~*~*~

Harry was already having trouble sleeping in Liam’s room, in Liam’s bed without Liam beside him. He’s been tossing and turning all night and if Louis weren’t in the living room, he would have carried his blankets out there to crash on the couch ages ago. The fact that he can’t has been irritating him, but the phone that has started ringing every five minutes is making him see red.

“Oh my god,” he mutters to himself angrily, getting up to search for the phone and answer it his damn self if no one else will. At first, he’d been sure it was outside Liam’s room but the longer it rings, the more certain he becomes Louis must have left his work phone in here somewhere the other night. “ **Stop. Ringing.** ”

After fumbling around on the desk, Harry finally gets his hands on the phone in question and stalks out to the living room with it. Without any delicacy whatsoever, he shakes Louis awake and thrusts the phone at him. “Your phone has been ringing every five minutes for the last _hour_. Please, take it… and tell your booty call that if they’re that desperate, there are people they can pay that don’t mind being kept awake all fucking night.”

“The fuck are you on about? That’s not mine” Louis mutters, pushing the phone away and rolling over to go back to sleep. He pulls the blanket up around his shoulders, grumpy at being abruptly woken by Harry _again_. 

“It’s not?” Harry asks quietly, looking down at the phone in his hand. If it’s not Louis’, then… 

“Hang on,” Louis says, sitting up abruptly about the same time Harry gasps at the realisation of what he’s holding. “You know what, I think that might be mine. Let me take a closer look.”

“Nope. I was mistaken, sorry,” Harry rushes out, walking quickly back to his room with Louis hot on his heels.

“Harry, wait—“ Louis tries to say, swatting the door back open when Harry tries to slam it in his face and following him inside. But it’s too late. Harry is already listening to the voicemails.

He turns to Louis after the first one, devastation written on his face as he pushes the speaker button to make them play aloud.

“Liam?? Where are you??” A female voice questions. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago. At least call me and let me know that you’re okay.”

The next message is even worse.

“Liam! All I ask is that you let me know something if you’re not coming. If this is about sneaking away from your boyfriend, maybe just tell him the truth already. He deserves to know anyway.”

Harry hangs up suddenly without listening to any more messages. Flopping down on the corner of Liam’s bed, he lets the phone slip from his hand and clatter to the floor.

“He was cheating on me.” There is no uncertainty in his tone, just pain and resignation.

“Harry, no,” Louis protests, looking like he wants to move closer but doesn’t dare.

“He was cheating on me,” Harry repeats, raising his head and narrowing his eyes at Louis in accusation, “and you knew, didn’t you?” 

“Harry--”

“You were his best friend, Louis,” Harry insists before Louis can brush him off. “There’s no way you didn’t know anything. Who is she?”

“I knew something,” Louis agrees, correcting himself a moment later with a wince, “ _know_ something, yes. But it’s not that Liam was cheating on you. He wasn’t, I swear.”

“Then what is it?” Harry insists, desperate for Louis to be telling the truth, to tell him some reason that Liam might have been keeping secrets from him that isn’t going to break his heart even more than it’s already been shattered.

“I--,” Louis sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking away. “I don’t really feel like it’s my place to tell you, Harry.”

“No, it was Liam’s place to tell me but he’s not here to do it, is he?!? So, please, Louis,” Harry stands reaching out a hand like Louis might have something tangible to offer him. “Please, give me _something_.”

Louis looks so torn that Harry almost feels hopeful that he’ll tell him what the big secret is, but Louis just sighs again, blinking slowly and leaving his eyes closed as he refuses once more. “I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t.”

“Get out.” Harry’s face hardens and he walks forward, causing Louis to back up, walking backwards until he steps through the doorway again. 

“If Liam didn’t tell you himself, there had to be a reason, Harry,” Louis tries to say, but Harry refuses to listen anymore. 

“Goodnight, Louis,” Harry says tonelessly, closing the door on the conversation and going back to bed. He still doesn’t sleep. 

~*~*~

It’s a long day going through work on no sleep but Harry is happy to have the sweet escape his lunch hour brings him. He considers napping through lunch but decides he’s too hungry so he pulls on his jacket and starts towards the door. Something stutters in his chest when he sees Liam’s mum, Karen, waiting for him there.

“Karen?” Harry asks, “I’m sorry, did we have plans that I forgot?”

“Oh, no, love,” Karen assures him with a constantly wavering smile. “I hope it’s okay that I decided to just pop in. I just thought it might be nice to get together. For old time’s sake,” she says, holding up a brown bag. “I made us some sandwiches. I thought we could eat on the bench outside.”

Harry can see the sadness in Karen’s eyes that never seems to fade no matter how wide she tries to smile. He wonders if that’s what everyone sees when they look at him; the face of the left behind. He’s not sure he can handle looking into that face for an hour, but he doesn’t have the heart to turn her away either.

“That sounds lovely, Karen. Better hurry if we want the bench before someone else gets it.”

The relief in her gaze as she leans in to hug Harry helps him feel like he made the right decision, even as they sit in awkward silence as they eat their sandwiches for the first few minutes. 

“I’m sorry for just barging in on you,” Karen says suddenly, giving Harry an apologetic glance before looking down at her sandwich. She picks at it without eating any more as she continues, “it’s just really hard, not having Liam around anymore. He used to visit me a few times during the week, did you know?”

“I did.” Harry aims a sad smile at her. “That was one of my favorite things about him. He was an unapologetic mummy’s boy. He loved you the most and he didn’t care who knew it.”

“Oh dear,” Karen says suddenly, waving a hand weakly in front of her face as she tries not to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Harry insists, tucking his sandwich back in the bag to put an arm around Karen’s shoulders and pull her into his side. She lays her head on his shoulder and Harry lays his head on top of hers. “I should have known that would be too much right now.”

“It wasn’t too much,” Karen disputes, patting Harry’s hand where it rests against her arm. “It was just what I needed to hear.”

Harry squeezes her a little tighter, glad he could give her something to hold onto even when it feels like everything is slipping out of his own grasp. 

~*~*~

Harry hasn’t exactly forgotten about the voicemails on the secret phone he found in Liam’s room. In fact, he struggles with not letting himself pick up the phone and listen to them over and over again during the entire next day. He finally gives in to the urge, going to the drawer where he’s stashed the phone but he finds it missing when he reaches inside. 

“ _Louis_ ,” he mutters to himself through clenched teeth, but instead of finding Louis to yell about him trespassing in Harry’s room, he finds himself being flooded with relief that the option was taken from him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he takes a minute to rest his head in his hands and let himself just feel all the emotions that he’s been holding back since Liam’s accident. He cries into his palms and he doesn’t bother to keep himself quiet. Zayn and Niall are both out so he should be able to afford to give himself a moment of weakness. 

“Harry?” he hears as his door swings open. 

“Shit, sorry,” Harry says automatically, wiping his cheeks and turning away so that Louis won’t see his face. He must look a mess right now. 

“No need to apologize,” Louis assures him, freezing in the doorway. “I’m pretty sure _I’m_ the one intruding. Sorry, I just heard…”

He trails off but they both know what he heard. 

Harry sniffs, staring at the floor. “I didn’t know anyone else was here.” 

Silence reigns between them for a moment and then Louis takes a tentative step closer. “Can I come in?”

“Why? Do you want to steal something else from my room?” Harry asks dryly, turning a flat stare on Louis. 

Louis doesn’t flinch from the truth, moving to sit next to Harry on the bed and Harry doesn’t protest the move but he does have to bite his tongue to stop himself. “I can give it back if you really want me to,” Louis says with a shrug, “but somehow I don’t think that’s what you really need right now.”

“What I need is to know that my fiancé wasn’t a cheating bastard who was keeping secrets from me, but I don’t really feel like I have a choice in the matter, do I?” Harry argues, letting the tears fall despite the fact that Louis is there to see it happen. Let him see it. He’s the one keeping Harry in the dark now. 

“Harry, I promise you, that wasn’t what was happening.” Louis puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder, and it’s just intimate enough without being too much that Harry allows it. He needs it, the reassurance and the comfort. 

“Then tell me how else to interpret those messages, Louis. Please.” He turns to face Louis and their eyes meet, both pleading for something that the other cannot offer.

Louis is the one to look away first, removing his hand from Harry’s shoulder and Harry wants to scream for it back. “I can’t. I want to. I want to give you the peace of knowing without a doubt that he loved you and would never have cheated on you, but…,” he shakes his head and draws a shaky breath before meeting Harry’s gaze again. “If you knew something about Liam. Something he’d kept from me and you knew that he’d never have done it without a reason. And this secret would hurt me to know it, especially without Liam around to tell me the truth himself, would you tell me?” he asks, before adding with bitter snort, “ I mean, if you actually liked me.”

Harry frowns at the statement but doesn’t comment on it, instead thinking about the question that’s been posed to him. The answer he comes to makes him take a deep breath and fight down another wave of tears. “No,” he says honestly, feeling some oppressive weight lift in his chest. “I mean, it might depend on the situation, but... I don’t think I would.”

Louis gives him a soft smile and puts his hand back on Harry’s shoulder. “Do you think you can trust me on this now?”

Harry feels a small lurch in his heart at the tenderness in Louis’ voice and the warm gentleness in his touch. He does genuinely seem to care about not hurting Harry. “I can try.”

“That’s all I can ask for, really.” Louis’ smile spreads out, taking over his face and Harry is struck by how beautiful it is. It’s contagious too, it seems because Harry’s own lips can’t help turning up just a little in answer. 

With one last pat to Harry’s shoulder, Louis stands and Harry knows he’s going to leave but Harry isn’t sure he wants him to anymore. He follows Louis up, catching his wrist before he can take a step. “Wait.”

Louis turns, glancing down at Harry’s hand holding him in place before raising his eyes to Harry’s face. He doesn’t speak, but waits for Harry to continue. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry tells him, reluctantly dropping his wrist. “I know you’re missing him too and I haven’t been very understanding about things. I’ve been a bit of an arse, I know and… I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s--,” Louis waves away the words with a grimace. “What you’ve been dealing with is _a lot_. You have nothing to apologise for.”

“I do though,” Harry argues, knowing he’s right about this. “I’ve never been very nice to you. Even before.”

“I think we’ve both done and said things at times that we could have done differently,” Louis says kindly. “It’s water under the bridge, mate.”

It may be a precarious truce built on shaky ground, but it settles something within Harry to have what feels like a better foundation with someone who was so important to Liam.

~*~*~

Keys jingling in one hand and full coffee travel mug in the other, Harry walks to his car in the morning with the smallest amount of pep in his step. He still carries a sadness in his bones wherever he goes, and confusion about the secrets he knows Liam had, but deciding to trust Louis that nothing nefarious was going on has given him a little bit of peace. 

He’s just opening his car door when he hears a little voice carry over to him. Lifting his head, he sees two people walking up the pavement towards the house. 

“I’m hungry, mummy,” a little boy, maybe four or five years old, says plaintively. 

He can’t hear the mother’s reply but she starts digging through a massive bag that she carries on her shoulder as she walks so Harry assumes she’s checking to see if she has any snacks handy. 

“Hi!” the little boy says with a wave when he sees Harry staring. 

“Hello,” Harry waves back with a confused smile. He loves kids but he doesn’t have any clue why this one is headed for his house, especially at half seven in the morning.

“Oh,” the child’s mother says, looking up in surprise and maybe there’s a bit of relief in her smile. “Hi! I was worried I might have missed everyone. Is this where Liam lives?”

Her voice hitting Harry’s ears makes it feel like his heart has stopped. He knows that voice. It’s a horrible revelation as the messages on Liam’s hidden phone run through his mind again.

“Oh no, are we in the wrong place?” She asks when Harry doesn’t answer immediately. She looks so crestfallen that it prompts Harry to speak even though he has terribly mixed emotions about this woman and why she might be here.

“Uh, no. You’re in the right place,” Harry says woodenly.

“Oh. Good,” she grins in relief again. “So, are you Niall? Or Zayn?”

“I’m... late,” Harry says, with a hard swallow, moving to get in his car but it feels like he’s moving through molasses. “Sorry, I’m-- I’m running late,” he says again, because he has no idea how to tell this woman, possibly the manifestation of his current greatest fear, who he is. Having trust in Louis’ words and Liam’s faithfulness is easier said than done when faced so blatantly with the uncertainty. 

“Wait, please,” she says, throwing out a hand to stop him leaving. “Can you just tell me if Liam is home?”

Harry’s heart stutters in his chest. So, still beating then, but just barely. He has to bite his lip and look away from her to keep his emotions in check. God, he _wishes_ Liam were home right now. 

“No, he’s--” 

“Harry?” Louis’ voice calls as he walks outside but the bubble of reassurance Harry feels at his arrival is swiftly burst. “Shouldn’t you be… Sophia?”

“Do I know you?” Sophia asks, squinting at Louis before seeming to realise what he’s said and turning back to Harry with a look of dawning horror. “Wait, _you’re_ Harry?”

Harry looks from Sophia to Louis and back again. “I think I’m gonna call in to work today,” he says, leaning against his car and sliding down the side to sit on the ground, his head foggy with static. 

“Um, why don’t you come in and sit down for a bit,” Louis says, looking at Harry worriedly as he directs the woman, Sophia, into the house. 

“Oh, thank you,” she says, glazing warily at Harry too and reaching out for her son. “Gavin, come on baby.”

Gavin isn’t listening though because instead of going to his mother’s outstretched hand, he walks over to Harry and squats next to him. “My dad says that it’s okay to not be okay, we just have to be there for each other,” he says, patting Harry very sweetly on his shoulder. “I’m here if you need me, at least until I have to go again.”

Harry looks at this adorable kid with brown eyes that he’s almost certain he knows. “He sounds like a very wise man, your dad. What’s his name?”

“He’s just Dad to me,” Gavin says with a shrug, leaning forward to whisper to Harry behind his hand. ““Mommy calls him Liam, but when she's mad she uses his whole name, _Liam James Payne_. That's how I know when he's in trouble."

“Gavin, come on, lets go,” his mother calls again and this time, Gavin goes but not before giving Harry one last pat. 

Harry remains where he is, staring into the distance until Louis comes back out for him a moment later. He squats down next to Harry, not unlike Gavin did. “You okay?”

Harry blinks at him. “That’s Liam’s kid.”

Louis has an apology in his eyes as he nods his head slowly. “Yeah.”

A whoosh of breath leaves Harry’s lungs and he slumps further into himself. “That was the big secret. Liam has a kid.”

“That was the big secret,” Louis repeats, confirming the statement. “A kid that was born three years before he met you. He went to visit sometimes to see his son and take them money but I promise you, there was nothing else going on, Harry. He loved you so much.”

Harry raises his head and his eyes are already swimming with tears just waiting to spill over. “But why wouldn’t he tell me? I love kids. Surely he knew that it wouldn’t change how I felt about him. Right?”

Louis reaches out to gently brush away the tear that’s started making it’s way down Harry’s cheek. “I don’t know his reasons, love. But I think they were probably more to do with his past than with you.”

“There’s more I don’t know, isn’t there?”

“A bit, yeah,” Louis tells him, taking his hand back. “I’m sorry you had to learn about it this way. I tried calling her last night to let her know what happened, but she must have been travelling already.”

“At least I don’t have to wonder about it anymore,” Harry says mostly to himself when a thought occurs to him. “Does Karen know? Has she been keeping it from me too?”

Louis looks surprised by the question and then thoughtful as he considers the answer. “No, I don’t think she does actually.” He sighs and stands to his full height. “Look, why don’t we go inside. You can call off work and we’ll all have a chat and maybe everyone will get some answers.” 

He stands over Harry, bending to offer his hand to help Harry up and Harry accepts it. It’s hard accepting help, especially when Harry doesn’t want to admit he needs it, but Louis makes it easy. Harry wonders why he never noticed that before. 

~*~*~

Harry can’t possibly sit with Sophia while Louis makes everyone tea so he focuses on Gavin instead.

“Did I hear you say you were hungry?” he asks the little boy who nods eagerly. “We have a fridge full of food. I could make you something.”

“Please, you don’t have to go out of your way,” Sophia tries to tell him but Harry actually _really_ does if he wants to have any chance of keeping his sanity intact until Louis is back in the room. Harry needs the calming presence he’s become lately. 

“It’s fine,” he says, crouching to get down to Gavin’s height. “Do you have any food allergies, bud?”

“My name is Gavin,” the little boy corrects him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Mine is Harry. It’s nice to meet you, Gavin.” Harry smiles at him, offering his hand to the child who shakes it very seriously. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Harry. My mom says you’re a lucky son of a bench,” Gavin informs him to the horror of his mother. 

“Gavin!” Sophia gasps, covering her face in embarrassment. 

“Uhh.” Harry has no reply to that. 

“He doesn’t have any food allergies,” Sophia removes her hands just long enough to tell him, suddenly just as eager to see him leave the room as he is to go.

“How does a sandwich sound?” Harry asks Gavin. 

“Peanut butter and marshmallow!”

“I think we have that,” Harry says, combing his memory of what’s in their cupboard. “I’ll be right back.”

When he walks into the kitchen, he stops to lean against the wall just inside the door, hand resting over his poor, battered heart. It’s taking a real beating today. 

“You good, Harry?” Louis asks from the other side of the kitchen, a tea tray on the counter next to him, nearly ready to be carried into the other room.

“I don’t know about good, but okay for the moment,” Harry assures him, pushing off the wall and moving to the cupboard to pull out the ingredients for Gavin’s sandwich. “I promised to make Gavin some food.”

“Hey,” Louis stops him, once all the stuff is piled on the counter. He spins Harry around to face him with gentle insistence. “If you need a little while to come to terms with this, I can cover for you if you want to get out of here.”

“Really?” Harry breathes out, more willing to admit he’s not as okay as he’s been pretending now that he knows he has an out. “You’re okay with that?”

“Course. Do what you need to do, I’ve got this.”

Harry doesn’t even think about what he’s doing as gratitude floods every inch of his body and he throws his arms around Louis Tomlinson’s neck. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for this, Harry. But you’re welcome,” he says, holding Harry in such a caring embrace that Harry isn’t sure how long it takes before he’s ready to leave it. 

“I promised to make Gavin his food,” Harry says when he pulls out of Louis’ arms. “I’m going to do that bit at least but I’ll let you give it to him if that’s okay?”

“Sure,” Louis agrees kindly, going back to the tea as Harry gets to work. 

Harry puts the sandwich next to the tea tray, squeezing Louis’ arm thankfully as he passes to leave the house through the back door. “Thanks, Lou.” 

He’s not going far. He just needs some air. 

~*~*~

It’s been maybe half an hour when Harry chances going back into the house again. He’s walking through the kitchen, about to head into the living room to beg his forgiveness for disappearing when he hears his name being mentioned. He tucks himself against the wall next to the door, eavesdropping even though he knows he shouldn’t. 

“Oh god. And Harry found out about Gavin like _this_.” She sounds mournful at the thought and it makes Harry feel a little less hostile at the mere idea of this woman that he didn’t know existed in Liam’s life. 

“I didn’t feel like I had the right to tell him and it was killing him not knowing, so maybe it’s a small blessing,” Louis suggests.

“I’m glad Liam had all of you,” she says, with hints of endearment in her tone. “He talked about you all so much. When he could find the excuse to visit, he always had to fit so much fathering into such a short amount of time. One of his biggest lessons for Gavin was trying to teach him what true friends look like. Liam always had a hard time in school with bullies and not having many friends. It took him a long time to become the more assured guy that you all knew. He worked really hard on himself and when he started looking more muscular and attractive to the other kids, he never forgot that they didn’t really care about him until he’d changed. But you guys, you’ve seen him both at his best and in his moments of weakness and you stuck by him anyway. When he talked to Gavin about finding real, good friends, all of your names came up so often.”

“Liam was the best. He deserved the entire world,” Louis says, sounding a little choked up. 

“He thought the same of you,” Sophia offers. “And _Harry._ God, he never stopped talking about him. He is so nice and put together. Or, he seems like he would be if we hadn’t dropped ourselves into his lap like a hand grenade. But even when he was struggling with the news that we existed, he was still kind to Gavin. I can see why Liam would want someone like him,” Sophia says of Harry, and a peek around the doorway reveals her looking down at her chipped nails and the cheap material of her dress. “Honestly, I figured he’d end up with someone a bit more of a mess, like me. Or you. No offense, but I’ve heard the story about how you two met.”

“None taken,” Louis laughs. “Asking him to play my new boyfriend to get my ex-girlfriend to back off was both the most awkward and amazing night of my life.”

Hiding once more, Harry leans heavily against the wall and feels his stomach churn with something bitter and twisted. He’s never heard that story. He just knows that Liam and Louis met at a party at uni and they hit it off so well that they instantly fell into a wild and wonderful friendship. The thing is, Harry isn’t sure if he’s jealous of Sophia for knowing that story, or if he’s jealous of the two boys who lived it. It sounds like Louis was the one person that Liam was completely free with and it hurts Harry to think that he couldn’t be that for him too. He kind of gets it though. Louis is the only person Harry’s allowed to see him break down, he’s the only one who knows what a mess Harry truly is. It’s a strange revelation when Harry remembers how hard it was to even be in the same room with Louis without wanting to scream before.

Harry’s working up the courage to walk into the room when he hears the front door open and two more voices enter.

“I told you not to buy that stupid motorbike, Niall,” Zayn says full of fond exasperation. 

“It looks so cool though,” Niall pouts. 

“Not sitting on the side of the road, it doesn’t-- Oh, hi.” Zayn must have just noticed their guests. 

“Hey! Zayn, Niall. What are you two doing home so early?” Louis greets them, sounding like he’s been caught doing something illicit. Harry hates that he can hear the nerves in Louis’ tone but he doesn’t know why Louis would be nervous. Do they not know who Sophia is? They were all friends with Liam before he met Harry, it was just lucky that they became Harry’s best friends too. Still, somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry must have assumed they knew about her too. 

“Niall’s motorbike broke down on the way to a client meeting so he called me to pick him up,” Zayn answers, voice a little stilted. 

“I have an oil leak apparently so I have to pick up a new set of trousers and head back out. Who’re your friends there?” Niall seems in no hurry to get changed. 

“Um, well,” Louis still seems hesitant to answer and Harry thinks maybe this is a good time for him to head back in. 

If they don’t know about Sophia, it doesn’t seem fair for Louis to carry all the weight of Liam’s secrets. Perhaps Harry can take some of the heat off of him. He straightens himself and brushes off his clothes in a nervous gesture before walking back into the living room, sparing Louis a sheepish smile when he turns at Harry’s entrance. 

“Harry!” Gavin cheers at the sight of him, running to hug his legs. He tugs on Harry’s shirt until he bends down. “Thank you for my sandwich.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry smiles at him, looking into the same brown eyes his father had. Seeing them doesn’t hurt as much this time, in fact, he’s sort of glad that some part of Liam still exists in the world. He reaches out and ruffles Gavin’s hair as he stands and turns to his gaping friends. “Guys, this is Gavin, Liam’s son.”

Zayn drops his keys. 

“Liam has a son?” Niall repeats, staring at Gavin in astonishment. 

“This is his mum, Sophia,” Louis inserts, causing them to refocus their attention for a moment. 

“Hi,” Niall says, still dazed before turning back to the little boy. 

“Did you know about this?” Zayn asks and it takes Harry a moment to realise that Zayn is speaking to him. 

“No, I had no idea.”

Zayn nods to himself, looking between Gavin and his mother before training concerned eyes on Harry again. “Are you okay?”

Harry finds the concern touching. “I’m… definitely still in shock,” he takes a deep breath, searching for the most truthful answer, “but I’m getting there.”

“Okay,” Zayn says, nodding again and surprising everyone when he continues. “I have to go. Niall, get your trousers on, you’re gonna be late. I’ll be in the car.”

“Zayn, wait!” Niall calls but doesn’t follow after him. 

“It’s alright.” Sophia gives him a sad smile. “I imagine meeting Liam’s secret ex-wife is quite a surprise for all of you.”

“Ex-wife?” Harry all but squeals at her. He looks somewhere off in the distance, eyes unfocused. “I need to sit down,” he mutters, backing into an armchair until he flops down in it.

“Oh shi--rt,” Sophia grimaces, checking to see if Gavin caught her almost-slip before frowning worriedly at Harry. “I’ve done it again, haven’t I?”

Gavin follows Harry to the chair, oblivious to what’s been going on. He seems to have taken a shine to Harry. “Can I sit with you?” he asks, tugging on Harry’s shirt sleeve until Harry turns his head to look at him. “I can read you a story, if you want. My dad used to read to me when I was upset and you seem upset.”

Harry looks at the little boy just trying to make him feel better, stricken by how like his father he is, and he can’t find it in himself to feel anything but fondness. “That’s very kind of you, Gavin. Thank you. Of course, you can sit with me.”

Gavin walks over and picks up a magazine from the coffee table and then comes back and climbs into Harry’s lap, opening the magazine to a random page. “Once upon a time, there was a prince named Gavin.”

Harry smiles and it’s almost like magic how this child has so quickly and simply flipped his emotions around. 

A horn honks outside but it only makes Gavin pause for a moment before he goes back to his adorable if rambling tale. 

Niall, however, looks at his watch and has to cut off the curse that nearly slips out when he sees what time it is. “Sorry,” he winces at Sophia. 

“Hey, no judgement,” she smiles at him, “I’ve had a kid for nearly six years and I still slip up sometimes. I appreciate the effort though.”

“Look, I really do have to go, but I want to have a proper chance to meet you both. Can we all get together again sometime soon?” Niall asks, looking earnestly at Sophia. 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Sophia glances at Harry uncertainly.

Harry stops Gavin’s story with a soft apology, lifting his head to look at Sophia calmly. “You should come back. Maybe tomorrow. We could all go to the beach?”

“Okay,” she agrees, giving Harry a surprised but hopeful smile. “If you’re sure.”

Harry looks down at Gavin, waiting patiently for Harry to let him know he can keep ‘reading’. “I’m sure.”

~*~*~

“So, I imagine you have questions,” Louis says to Harry as he closes the door after Sophia and Gavin take their leave. 

“I’m sure I do but it’s a little difficult to think of what they may be right now,” Harry replies, laying down on the couch with a sigh. 

Louis moves to join him, raising Harry’s legs and setting them across his lap as he settles into his spot. “I could talk and you could toss out anything that comes to mind?”

“Hmm,” Harry hums, considering. “Okay, shoot.”

“Alright, how much do you know about Liam’s father?”

Harry shakes his head at the question. “Not much. He was rich and he passed away a few years before I met Liam.”

“He was also a homophobic bastard who was not okay with Liam questioning his sexuality. When Liam’s parents divorced, his mum got custody of his sisters and his father got custody of him. You know Liam, he can’t stand to disappoint people. Once his father had drilled it into his head that he needed to find a nice woman to marry and have kids with, Liam was determined to be a man his father could be proud of. He spent a long time trying to convince himself he was straight. And then, halfway through Uni, he married his high school sweetheart.”

“Oh, god. Poor Liam,” Harry murmurs, rubbing a hand over his heart. It aches for the man he knew and what he must have gone through. The pain he must have internalized.

“He didn’t do too bad,” Louis tells Harry, a fond look on his face as he speaks and a warm hand resting on Harry’s ankle. “When his dad passed and left him this huge inheritance, Liam knew he never would have gotten it if he hadn’t complied with his father’s wishes. Knowing that made him confront the parts of himself that he didn’t like and work through the things he needed to work on. It gave him the courage to tell Sophia how he really felt. He refused to touch that money for anything other than taking care of them. He was always really good at holding himself accountable for his mistakes and not letting himself back down from fixing them.”

Harry snorts. It’s true for the most part, but this seems like a really big mistake that Harry can’t help feeling a little bitter that Liam isn’t around to fix now. “Wait,” Harry leans up on his elbows to check with Louis. “There was a solicitor asking me about some big account that Liam had. Is that his inheritance?” 

“Probably.” Louis looks thoughtful for a moment. “What was the solicitor’s name?”

Harry flops back down onto his back. “I still have their card somewhere, I can find it for you later.”

“Thanks.” Louis rolls his head against the back of the couch to look at him. “I know you must feel betrayed by all this. I genuinely have no idea why he didn’t tell you. He always told me he would one day. I assumed it would be before the wedding.”

“I don’t know why he didn’t tell me either. I still don’t think it would have changed my mind about him, but the more secrets that pile on, the less sure I am. Maybe he had reason not to tell me,” Harry muses, staring at the ceiling overhead. 

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Louis says, squeezing Harry’s ankle lightly and making Harry’s gaze drop to meet his. “I’ve seen you two together. You thought the sun shone out of his arse and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

Harry laughs a little. “True. I did.” His smile falls as he considers, “Still do a bit, if I’m honest.”

“Even after all this?” Louis watches him, innocent curiosity in his stare.

Harry feels his throat tighten. “Yeah.” 

“I’m glad,” Louis tells him, smiling down at him with genuine pride in his answer. Harry doesn’t know how to feel about that. It leaves a squirmy feeling in his chest that’s not entirely unpleasant.

“So, did you meet her before? Sophia? You knew who she was but she didn’t seem to know you,” Harry asks abruptly, sitting up because he feels the need to put a little distance between them. He removes his legs from Louis’ lap and tucks his feet under himself, grasping one ankle absentmindedly while resting his other arm on the back of the couch as he waits for Louis’ answer.

If Louis notices the awkwardness in the air, he doesn’t comment on it, instead focusing on answering Harry’s questions as promised. “Nah. I’ve seen photos but he never introduced her to me.”

“And Niall and Zayn? I know they didn’t know about Gavin, but did they know Liam was married before?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only person he’s ever told. I don’t think they know any of it,” Louis shrugs, looking towards the door Zayn stormed out of earlier. “I think maybe deep down, some part of Liam knew he was playing a part and he was ashamed of it. Or maybe he was afraid that the more people who knew, the more stuck he’d be. It was only a few months after his father passed that Liam confessed everything to Sophia and they ended their marriage. I don’t think he could have kept up the charade much longer either way.”

Harry bites his lip, mulling over everything Louis has told him. “And you don’t think Karen knows? She wasn’t invited to their wedding?”

“I really don’t think she does,” Louis confirms. “Liam and Sophia didn’t have a big wedding. They got married at the registry office. Liam probably wanted to keep her out of the mess he’d gotten himself into as much as possible. She was the best thing in his life and he got to see her so rarely when he lived with his father, I think he just didn’t want to taint that, if that makes sense?”

“God,” Harry breathes, thinking about Liam’s mother and how sad she was the other day. She’d probably love to know she has a grandson. Louis was right though, Harry doesn’t feel like he has the right to tell her. Maybe he can ask Sophia about it tomorrow. 

“Are you doing okay over there?” Louis asks, putting his hand down on the cushion between them as though he wants to reach out but isn’t sure he has permission. 

Harry lets out a heavy breath. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I’m trying to be. It’s just- a lot, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Kind of want to just not think for a bit.”

“That’s what Netflix is for, right?” Louis reaches for the remote on the coffee table and turns the telly on, putting an arm over the back of the couch as he opens the search function on Netflix. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Something as far from our current situation as possible.”

“Sci-fi it is,” Louis laughs, scrolling through the relevant list of movies and tv shows.

“Hey, Louis?” Harry says, smiling when Louis turns to look at him.  
“Thank you.”

“You say that a lot,” Louis tells him, grinning as he turns to look back at the television. “That’s what friends are for, Harry.”

The statement shouldn’t give Harry pause but until recently, he hadn’t thought of him and Louis as friends. He definitely does after today though. He twists in his seat to see the telly better and doesn’t feel the need to move away when he realises how close they’re sitting now. He just lets himself enjoy not thinking for a while when Louis puts on some space show and he doesn’t even realise he’s leaned into Louis’ side until Louis’ arm falls from the back of the couch onto his shoulder.

He stiffens immediately and Louis picks up on it.

“I’ll move it if you want me to,” he says, not looking away from the screen. “If you need it though, as your friend, I am willing to offer cuddles as well as thought-free companionship.”

Harry bites his lip, waiting to see if he feels smothered by the weight like he did when he woke up with Zayn’s arm around him the other night. When he realises he doesn’t, Harry tentatively lowers his head to rest on Louis’ shoulder. He doesn’t say thank you again because, apparently, this is what friends are for.

~*~*~

Sophia and Gavin arrive bright and early the next morning, as Harry and Louis pack food and towels into the car, ready for a day at the beach.

Gavin rushes up to Harry again, hugging him around his legs. “Harry!”

“Good morning, Gavin,” Harry says with a smile, ruffling his hair.

“You look happier today,” Gavin observes with an innocence that only children can manage.

“I am,” Harry informs him, bending down to his level once Gavin frees his legs. “How are you today?”

“I’m escited to go to the beach!”

“Hey there, little man,” Niall says as he exits the house and sees Gavin and Sophia have arrived. “My name is Niall.”

“Hey there, Niall,” Gavin repeats, walking over to Niall with his hand outstretched for a handshake, as though he really is a tiny adult. “I heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Niall laughs, shaking Gavin’s hand and dropping down to sit on the grass. He pats the spot beside him, asking Gavin to join him. “What’ve you heard?”

“You’ve all been so great with him,” Sophia tells Harry and Louis as they watch Niall chatting with her child. 

“He’s a great kid,” Harry tells her, keeping his gaze on Gavin and Niall until he notices Zayn standing at the porch door, watching too with a frown on his face. “And we all really loved his dad.”

Sophia puts a hand to her heart and gives them a wavering smile. “He was so lucky to have all of you.”

“Are we ready yet?” Niall asks, looking at each of them in turn as he walks over with Gavin riding piggyback. 

“Is Zayn coming?” Harry asks as he sees Zayn disappear back into the house. 

Niall loses a little of his smile. “I don’t think so.”

“Let me talk to him,” Louis offers, but Harry stops him with a hand on his arm.

“You make sure that everything we need is in the car. I’ll go talk to Zayn.”

“It’s fine if he doesn’t feel comfortable around us,” Sophia says before Harry can take a step. “I don’t want to force our presence on anyone who doesn’t want to be around us.”

“I understand. Let me just check on him, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Harry fast-walks back to the house, looking around the living room for Zayn but when he doesn’t see him, he moves toward Zayn’s room. He doesn’t get that far though, finding Zayn in the hallway, staring at a photo of himself, Liam, and Niall. 

“We took this the night Liam moved into this house with us,” Zayn tells him without looking away from the picture. “Did you know that Louis lived here first?” This time he turns to look at Harry, his gaze dull and sad.

“No, I-- they never told me that.”

“Louis gave his room up when he went off to become a big Hollywood director. A week later he called and said he was sending us a new roommate that we’d love. We were so happy to see that it turned out to be Liam. He’d disappeared off the face of the Earth as soon as he’d graduated uni. It was really nice to have him back.”

~*~*~

_“Relax boys,” Louis laughs over the Skype connection from Niall’s computer. “You’re gonna love him.”_

_“He’s already late, Louis,” Zayn reminds him, not too impressed with their potential new roommate yet. Or the fact that Louis keeps talking about him like it’s a done deal and they’re just going to let some stranger move into their house no questions asked._

_“Can you be nice, please?” Louis asks, exasperated with Zayn already, but maybe it’s more the situation than Zayn because he can’t control anything over a SKype call. Louis has always been a nurturer, trying to take care of everyone and that’s harder to do across an ocean. He takes a deep breath and encourages Zayn to do the same. “He had a flat tyre. And he let you know he had a flat tyre," he says, tone soothing. “You’re letting your anxiety get the best of you, Z.”_

_It’s true. Zayn isn’t great with surprises. In fact, he hates them._

_“Fine,” Zayn says, taking an overdramatic deep breath and rolling his eyes. He doesn’t do well with people telling him what to do either. “Better?”_

_Louis blinks at him. He’s the unimpressed one now. “Niall, Zayn needs a Horan Hug, stat!”_

_Zayn is prepared for it when Niall nearly bowls him over, a mess of limbs and love and food crumbs from the toast he was eating for breakfast as he hugs Zayn from behind._

_“Fuck off,” Zayn laughs, but doesn’t dare push him off. He actually really does need this. Trust Louis to know that._

_“Don’t worry, mate,” Niall tells Zayn, smacking a loud, messy kiss to his cheek. “I gotchu.”_

_“Thanks, Niall.” Zayn pats the arm still hugging him tight under his chin._

_“There are the smiles I’ve missed since I’ve been gone,” Louis coos over them, laughing when Zayn and Niall both flip him the middle finger._

_“You could just solve all these problems by coming back,” Zayn suggests._

_“Nah. You won’t want me back when you see the new guy,” Louis promises them._

_“Is he hot?” Zayn’s interest is piqued._

_“Oh, yeah,” Louis assures him with a wink._

_“We’ll always want you back, Lou,” Niall cuts in, making the smirk Louis is wearing melt into an exaggerated pout of affection._

_“Aww, Niall! I love you too, mate.”_

_“Where is this guy?” Zayn complains when another minute ticks by. He just wants to meet this guy and get it over with. The anticipation and worry that he’s not going to be a good fit, is eating away at Zayn’s good will. Either they have a new roommate or the search continues and Zayn has to do more nerve wracking meetings like this. Zayn would like to know which it’s going to be sooner rather than later._

_“He’ll be there soon,” Louis promises again. “And guys, I need you to remember something for me, okay? He’s had a rough few years. He’s gone through a lot and this is his first time really being free to choose his own path. I need you guys to take care of him for me. Can you do that?”_

_The seriousness in Louis’ tone gives them both pause and Niall and Zayn look at each other in concern. Louis doesn’t ask for things like this carelessly._

_“Who is this guy, Lou?” Niall asks the question before Zayn can._

_They both hear a chirp on Louis’ phone and see as he looks down to check the message. He looks back up at them with the biggest smile Louis Tomlinson is capable of mustering. “You’re about to find out. He’s there.”_

_Niall lets go of Zayn to rush to the window and Zayn meanders over at a much more chilled pace despite his apprehension at the moment of truth finally arriving. He moves a little quicker when Niall gives a loud “feckin’ hell” and runs to the front door, swinging it open and sprinting outside._

_“Holy shit,” Zayn laughs, peaking past the curtain on the window before following Niall outside._

_“Liam!!” he shouts, running to join the embrace that Niall already has Liam locked in, turning it into a group hug, that swiftly shifts into a puppy pile on the ground, full of laughter and maybe a few reminiscent tears._

_“I’m so glad it’s you, man,” Zayn tells him, grinning at the happy squintiness of Liam’s eyes and the sunshine in his smile._

_“Me too, mate,” Liam laughs, lying there on the grass and trying to catch his breath. “Missed you lot.”_

_“Ditto.”_

~*~*~

Harry wants to smile at the story Zayn is telling, but he thinks maybe he shouldn’t because when Zayn looks back at the photograph, he stares at it with a fire in his gaze that wasn’t there before. 

“After the conversation I had with Louis last night, I realised that this was probably when Liam and his _wife_ separated. All those years, he was lying to all of us.” Zayn rips the photo from the wall and acts like he’s going to smash it until he sees Harry’s horrified stare, hand stretched out as though he can save it. Suddenly, all the anger seems to leach out of Zayn and he lowers the photo, gazing down at it one last time before moving toward the kitchen where he opens a drawer and shoves the photo inside, slamming it closed.

Harry stands quietly at the edge of the kitchen, aching because of the hurt he knows his friend is going through. Slowly, he moves closer, putting a gentle hand on Zayn’s shoulder when he reaches him. “For all his faults, Liam loved us, Zayn. I don’t believe he was lying about that.”

Zayn twists at Harry’s words, his face a mask of incredulity. “How can you, of all people, forgive him so easily, Harry? He had a whole other family that he kept secret from you. You! The man he was going to marry.”

“I knew Liam,” Harry answers, with a shrug. “Yeah, I felt betrayed when I found out and it still hurts that he didn’t tell me. It probably always will, but I _knew_ him, Zayn. Like you and Niall and Louis knew him. He didn’t do this to _hurt_ us, he was probably scared. Nobody has life figured out, not even at our age. Who else will forgive us our mistakes if not our friends?”

Zayn takes a deep breath, eyes cast to the floor. “After everything that’s happened, I don’t know that I knew him at all.”

“Zayn,” Harry sighs, reaching out to touch Zayn’s arm in a pleading gesture. “Will you come to the beach with us? Maybe talking to Sophia and Gavin will give us more insight into all of this.”

“I don’t think I can be around them, Harry.”

“Okay. Stay home if you need to,” he says gently, “but keep in mind, please, that the woman and child out there aren’t to blame. They didn’t choose this any more than we did.”

Harry leaves Zayn to his thoughts as he joins the others who are contemplating whether they should take two cars or not. The question is answered for them when Zayn walks out of the house a few moments later, a book bag slung over his shoulder. 

He continues walking until he reaches Louis’ car, already filled with their beach supplies. “Get in losers, we’re going to the beach.”

“Whoo!” Niall cheers with a laugh, directing Sophia and Gavin to his car which is already equipped with a carseat he has to use when he picks up his nephew from daycare for his brother.

Louis turns to look at Harry, his smile showing how impressed he is that Harry got Zayn to join them. “Looks like we’re going to the beach.”

“Shut up and get in the car,” Harry laughs, leading by example. 

~*~*~

Harry grins when he sees Zayn and Gavin interacting at the beach, Gavin gathering sand for a sandcastle and Zayn adding intricate details to the shapeless lumps made from Gavin’s bucket. Looking to his left he sees Niall and Sophia sitting a few towels over from him, chatting animatedly and laughing every few minutes. Laying back on his towel, he stares up at the clouds seeing whimsical figures in their formations. For the first time in days, Harry feels truly at peace. 

The sound of a camera shutter has Harry turning to his left where he finds Louis with his lens pointed at Gavin and Zayn. He takes a picture of Niall and Sophia next, smiling at the image when he checks the LCD screen. 

“Good one?” Harry asks, prompting Louis to lean over and show him the screen. “Yeah,” Harry answers his own question. “Good one.”

“May I?” Louis points the camera at Harry in question.

“Uh, no,” Harry laughs, holding a hand out in front of the lens to make sure Louis can’t take a picture of him. “Maybe I’d be okay with a group photo or something.”

“Okay, how about we take one together?” Louis asks, flopping down next to Harry and sending sand spraying onto Harry’s towel. 

“Watch it!” Harry says through his laughter, pushing Louis playfully. 

“It’s just a little sand,” Louis teases, pinching some between his fingers and dropping it onto Harry’s chest. 

“Hey!” Harry catches Louis’ wrist, fighting a smile as he orders, “now clean it off.”

“Oh, alright,” Louis concedes, rolling away from Harry only to roll back with a spray bottle, spritzing cold water onto Harry’s skin.

“I’ll get you for that,” Harry promises, chasing Louis up from the towel and across the beach. 

“Freeze Frame!” Louis calls and Harry doesn’t know why he does it, but he freezes in place, allowing Louis a perfect, likely idiotic picture of him before Louis is running again, laughing his freaking head off. 

“Don’t fall on your camera,” Harry shouts, gaining ground as Louis circles around to head back toward the towels. 

“Hold this, Niall,” Louis says, dropping the camera into the relative safety of Niall’s lap as he keeps running. 

Harry doesn’t follow, instead stopping to steal the camera from Niall. He lifts it and takes a photo, capturing the exact moment that Louis realises he’s made a mistake.

“No, no, no,” he says, walking back toward them. “Gimme the camera back.”

“But who takes pictures of the photographer, Louis?” Harry asks, snapping another photo, this time of Louis rolling his eyes at him. 

“Give it back, Harry.”

Harry presses his lips together and rolls his eyes to the side like he’s thinking about it. “Nope.”

“Harry, give it back.” Louis says, as he steps in front of Harry and reaches for the camera, rising on his tiptoes when Harry raises it above his head. He almost manages to keep a straight face, but melts into a smile as he lowers his hand to tickle Harry’s armpit, making him lower the camera enough for Louis to grab it. “Ha!”

“Cheater,” Harry giggles, crossing his arms over his chest because the paranoia of being tickled again always lingers for a bit after it happens the first time. 

“I believe you owe me a picture of the two of us,” Louis says, pulling Harry back to their own towels so that they aren’t looming over Niall and Sophia as they lean in together and take the photo. Louis shows Harry the outcome on the screen and he smiles. It’s a great picture and Harry thinks it beautifully captures how happy he feels in this moment. 

His good mood sours a little when he looks up and sees Zayn staring at him, frown back in place as he says something to Gavin and storms off again. Harry doesn’t know why he feels like his heart is plummeting from a great height, but the feeling persists and he’s left wondering what it is that he’s done.

~*~*~

“I hope you don’t mind,” Niall says as they’re all gathered around the breakfast table the next day, “but I invited Sophia and Gavin for dinner tonight.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Zayn says into his food. He’s been civil to Harry this morning if a bit cold and Harry doesn’t like how uneasy it’s making him feel. He’s glad that whatever is bothering Zayn doesn’t seem to extend to Sophia and Gavin though. 

“Harry, Louis?” Niall checks.

“S’fine with me,” Louis says with a shrug, turning with everyone else to check Harry’s reaction.

“Who’s supposed to be cooking this dinner?” Harry asks with narrowed eyes. He already cooked them breakfast.

“Sophia offered to do the cooking,” Niall answers, looking proud to have a response that Harry might approve of.

“Yeah, okay,” Harry agrees with a half-smile. 

After everyone has eaten and Harry and Zayn are the last ones in the kitchen, Harry broaches the subject of what’s on Zayn’s mind.

“Hey, can we talk?” he asks, catching Zayn’s arm when he turns to leave. 

“About what?” Zayn returns, giving away nothing and leaving Harry to guess.

“I don’t know. I just feel like I did something to piss you off and I’d rather communicate than leave it hanging between us.”

Zayn studies him for a moment, finally snorting to himself. “You honestly have no idea, do you?”

“No idea about _what,_ Zayn?”

“Do you know why I was so mad about Liam keeping his past a secret from us?”

“Because he lied.”

“No. I mean, _yes,_ but it’s more than that,” Zayn shakes his head, closing his eyes and preparing himself for what he’s about to say. “I spent the past three years being jealous of my best friend because he met you first. And I could handle that. I was _okay_ with that. Because he was the better man. He deserved you. Only it turns out, maybe he wasn’t the better man after all.”

“Zayn,” Harry whispers, terrified of the pain he’s just inadvertently asked Zayn to release. “I’m sorry, I don’t--”

“You don’t see me like that,” Zayn bites his lip and nods along to what he already knew was the truth. “I know. And I can be okay with that too. I _will_ with a little time. I just--,” he pauses to give himself a little time before he shares another confession. “It hurts to see you falling for Louis, for someone you _hate,_ rather than see someone who’s been standing right in front of you this whole time.”

“I--.”

“Don’t say anything,” Zayn shakes his head again as he cuts Harry off and Harry doesn’t know whether to be sad about the position they’re in or grateful that he doesn’t have to try to find the words to fix this. He’s not entirely sure it’s something that can be fixed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that, and I’ll try not to take it out on you anymore. I know better than anyone that you can’t help who you love.”

And with that said, Zayn leaves Harry standing alone in the kitchen feeling like he can’t catch his breath. Not because of Zayn’s feelings for him, or because of the way they’ve left things. But because Zayn’s statement about Harry falling for Louis has caught Harry completely off guard. And what’s worse, it doesn’t feel like an exaggeration. 

~*~*~

Dinner is a fiasco.

It starts off well enough. Sophia and Gavin arrive promptly at five so that they can eat early enough to get Gavin to bed at a decent hour. Meanwhile, Harry tries to pretend things aren’t awkward between him and Zayn, while at the same time making things awkward between him and Louis. He can see the questioning looks Louis keeps giving him as Harry tries to keep his distance, shaken by Zayn’s early assessment of their newfound friendship. 

“Hey, Gavin. Do you want to help me make a snack for later?” Harry asks, desperate for some kind of distraction from his own thoughts. 

The little boy enthusiastically agrees so Harry starts to set them up in a corner of the kitchen out of Sophia’s way, gathering the supplies they’ll need. He’s looking for a mixing spoon when he opens a drawer and finds the photo Zayn had taken off the wall. He stops for a moment, pulling it out of the drawer to stare at it. 

“That’s my dad,” Gavin says, coming up to stand beside Harry and pointing to Liam in the photo. 

“Yeah, that’s him” Harry tells him with a smile, squatting down so that Gavin can see better. “Did you know he used to live here?”

“Yep. We were looking for him, that’s why we’re here,” Gavin says, without making Harry feel idiotic for not realising that they would have had to know that. 

“You know, I think we have chocolate ice cream in the freezer. We could have that for a snack later and I could show you your dad’s old room, if you want?”

“Ice cream!!” Gavin jumps up and down with excitement. 

Harry laughs, checking with Sophia quickly before leaving the room with her son.

“Hurry back,” she jokes to Gavin after giving her permission, “I’ll miss you too much!”

With one hand holding Gavin’s and the other holding tight to the photograph, Harry leads the little boy to the room he calls his own now. It still has all of Liam’s things in it, Harry hasn’t had the heart to change anything. 

While Gavin wanders around looking at everything, Harry stands the photo up on the desk, caressing it gently over the image of Liam. Here, Zayn won’t have to see it if he doesn’t want to, but Liam will still hold a place of honor, happy to be seen by _someone_. 

“Hey! That’s mine!” Gavin says excitedly, noticing a plastic stegosaurus set on the tallest shelf of the bookshelf in front of the textbooks Liam never read. 

“Yours?” Harry asks, reaching for the dinosaur.

“Well, it used to be mine,” Gavin corrects himself, “I gave it to my dad on my birthday.”

“On _your_ birthday?” Harry furrows his brow as he sits on the floor, holding out the toy, uncertain if the child is confused about what he’s saying. 

“I didn’t ever get to see him on his, but he was always there for mine so I gave it to him on mine,” Gavin explains, taking the toy and holding it in his hands, running a fingertip over the spines on its back, “to memember me by.”

Harry’s throat hurts as he fights off an onslaught of emotion over what Gavin has just told him and he wipes at his eyes, getting rid of the first sign of tears before they can fall from his eyes. “He liked dinosaurs.”

“I know. He told the best dinosaur stories.”

“Did he?” Harry asks, heart torn asunder knowing that Gavin won’t get any more of those stories. “Will you tell me one?”

Gavin agrees, crawling into Harry’s lap and doing his best to recount one of his father’s stories, complete with sound effects and a stegosaurus helper. 

Harry is thoroughly entertained until there’s a knock on the door frame, drawing both of their attention to the two people standing there watching them with adoring smiles on their faces. Sophia’s is directed at Gavin, but Louis’ eyes are on Harry when he looks over and that makes Harry’s stomach erupt into a frenzy of butterflies and apprehension. It’s too soon for him to be feeling this way again, isn’t it? 

“Dinner is ready,” Sophia informs them.

Gavin jumps up from Harry’s lap but stops when he remembers what he’s holding, turning to give Harry the dinosaur back. “Here.”

“Do you want to keep it? To remember your dad by?” Harry asks him, not reaching out for it. “I think he’d want you to have it.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, for real,” Harry confirms with a grin. 

“Thank you, Uncle Harry,” Gavin says, throwing his little arms around Harry’s neck. 

Harry slowly raises his hands to Gavin’s back, returning the hug but looking at Louis and Sophia because he’s not sure what to say or do here. 

Sophia covers her mouth with her hand, just as surprised as Harry but also obviously touched by the scene playing out. Louis seems shocked too but it quickly melts into a look of understanding at Harry’s predicament. 

“Come on, Gavin. Let’s set the table,” Sophia calls to her son, seeming to realise that Harry is going to need a minute. 

Once they’re gone, Harry stands, his mind still a whirlwind of confused emotions. “Louis,” he says quietly, but doesn’t know what to say next as tears start to prick at his eyes again. “What do I do with that?”

“I don’t know, love,” Louis says, crossing the space between them to gather Harry in his arms and let him cry into the material of his shirt. “I don’t think I can answer that for you.”

Harry tucks his face into Louis’ neck, holding tight, grateful there’s someone who understands just how mixed his feelings are right now and always seems to be there when Harry needs him even if he doesn’t really mean to be. 

Louis lets Harry cry on him for as long as he needs and then helps him clean up before they join everyone for dinner. Zayn meets Harry’s eyes when they walk in, gaze flicking to Louis beside him before he looks away again. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t seem angry either and, even though nothing happened between him and Louis, Harry still feels something settle in his stomach. 

Sophia made them a lovely meal, maybe even better than what Harry could make and Harry expects to feel jealous, knowing that she could have offered Liam something more than he could, but he doesn’t. He looks at her, taking care of Gavin, feeding her child before herself and making sure his food is cut into edible pieces for his small mouth and it gets him thinking. And that is when the fiasco starts.

“We never talked about having kids,” Harry blurts out unexpectedly. He hadn’t planned on saying it, but now all eyes are on him and he feels compelled to keep going. “I want _so many_ kids,” Harry says, smiling at Gavin and looking around the table. “Liam never knew that about me.”

Everyone looks at each other, some with thoughtful pouts on their faces before just accepting Harry’s comment and trying to go back to their food but Harry’s not done yet. 

“Also,” he pauses, looking at Niall as he says, “I’ve always wanted to learn to play guitar. He never knew that either.”

“I could teach you,” Niall offers.

“Thank you.” 

Niall nods, spearing more food on his fork, clearly not ready for Harry to unburden his soul but that is apparently what’s going to happen because Harry immediately opens his mouth again.

“And! I like feminine clothes! I have a closet full of them that I never felt like I could wear around Liam because he always seemed to like me best when I was wearing suits or leather jackets. I don’t think clothes should be gendered, they’re just fabric! Why can’t I wear a skirt if I want to??”

Niall tilts his head to the side like he hadn’t considered that before but Harry is already moving on before he can check anyone else’s reaction.

“I hate the Dark Knight Batman movies!” 

Zayn drops his fork, eyebrows touching his hairline. 

“I know they were Liam’s favorites and maybe they had a good storyline? But honestly, I couldn’t get past the growly voice he spoke in every time he wore the Batsuit,” Harry says, imitating Batman when he says the part about his growly voice. “All I could think during the entirety of each film was, ‘Holy sore throat, Batman! Do you need a lozenge?’”

Niall, Zayn, and Sophia are all staring at Harry as though he's grown a second head and Gavin is watching like even if he has, at least it’s entertaining. But when Harry looks to the end of the table, Louis is smiling at Harry like… well, like the way Harry used to smile at Liam. To use Louis’ words, like the sun shines out of his arse. Harry’s heart clenches in his chest to see it. 

Having thoroughly scandalized everyone at the table in one way or another, Harry clears his throat and lifts his fork to take another bite of his food. “This is delicious, Sophia. Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” she says, startled to be addressed but quickly recovering with an almost convincing smile. 

~*~*~

Niall and Gavin play with Gavin’s dinosaur while everyone else cleans and puts away the dishes from dinner. They all come to a halt, looking over when the little boy starts going into a strop.

“Give me back Gavin!”

“If that’s Gavin, then where is Niall?” Niall asks, trying to be playful as he hands over the dinosaur.

“He’s at home in my room!” Gavin answers, cuddling the dinosaur to his chest, unaware that everyone is watching him or the sudden expectant tension that’s filled the room.

“You have a Niall dinosaur?” Niall prods after a glance at everyone else who’s listening.

“Yes, he’s a pterodactyl that my daddy named.”

The room goes still again until Zayn moves over to sit on the floor with them. “Do you have a Zayn dinosaur?”

“Mmhmmm,” Gavin nods. “It’s a codiperisk. Daddy ordered that one special because it doesn’t come in the dinosaur packs at the store but he said we needed the perfect one.”

“What does it look like?” Zayn asks, curiously. He doesn’t know what dinosaur Gavin is talking about but he knows how tricky their names can be.

“He’s pretty and he has feathers. And he can fly like Niall because they’re best friends," Gavin tells him, too busy playing with the dinosaur in his hands to notice the smile Niall and Zayn share over his head.

Harry pulls out his phone and searches ‘cardiperusk dinosaur’, uncertain if he’s heard it right. Luckily, google comes up with a suggestion that looks like it might be the right thing. 

Harry walks over, kneeling next to Zayn and showing him his phone. Caudipteryx, it says. He clicks on a picture and shows it to Gavin. “Is this him?”

“Maybe. Zayn is prettier though cuz me and daddy painted him together.”

“Do you have a Louis dinosaur too?” Harry asks, smiling over his shoulder. Louis sticks his tongue out at him, crossing his eyes. 

“Yep. And a Harry too.”

“Really?” Louis asks, suddenly more interested. “What are your Louis and Harry dinosaurs?”

“Harry is a brontosaurus because daddy said he's a gentle giant and Louis is a tyrannosaurus rex because he's fierce and not afraid of anything. And this one is me,” he says, looking down at the stegosaurus. “There’s one for mummy too and daddy’s mummy and sisters because he said that it was our whole family.”

The whole kitchen falls silent again, no one sure how to respond while they’re all dealing with rushes of emotion. 

“Well, now you have two of each of us,” Niall says, breaking the silence. And even though they don’t say it out loud, Harry can see that everyone agrees.

~*~*~

“I talked to Sophia about meeting up with Karen,” Louis says from the open door of Harry’s room as he’s preparing for bed. 

“You did?” Harry stops turning down the duvet to stare at him.

“Yeah, I think she should know that she’s still got a small part of her son, you know?” He looks thoughtful but maybe a little bit nervous, arms crossed over his chest as though he was expecting an argument.

“I agree,” Harry tells him, sitting on the edge of the bed and giving Louis his full attention. “I know she misses him so much. I think she’ll be thrilled to learn about Gavin.”

“I’m still struggling with sharing secrets that aren’t mine.” He confesses, dropping his arms now that he knows Harry isn’t going to fight him on it. 

“Hey, no,” Harry rises, shaking his head and grasping one of Louis’ hands to pull him further into the room. “Lie down.”

Louis raises an eyebrow at him, glancing down at the bed and then back up at Harry’s face.

“Not like that, dickhead,” Harry swats at him. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk about things when you’re lying down. You can lie on your back and stare at the ceiling or turn and face the wall, so you don’t have to look at them, but I do it because hard to say things aren’t so heavy when you don’t have to carry all their weight yourself.”

Louis laughs. “You do talk some shit.”

“As you saw at dinner,” Harry agrees easily, “now lie the fuck down please.”

“Okay, but _that_ was brilliant,” Louis laughs, lying down as ordered but turning his head to look Harry up and down playfully, “Do you actually own a skirt?”

“Maybe,” Harry hedges, pushing Louis’ head until he’s staring up at the ceiling. “Okay, now. Unburden yourself.”

Louis sputters with laughter.

“Alright, alright. I definitely could have said that better. Don’t be a dick.”

“You’re right, sorry.” Louis tries to school his features into something serious, clearing the laughter from his throat. “Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say, Harry.”

“Okay, I’ll speak. You listen,” Harry says, rolling onto his side and lifting up on his elbow to rest his head in his palm. 

“Okay.” Louis copies his pose, smiling as he waits to hear what Harry’s going to say. 

“I think you’ve done your duty to Liam. You held his secrets safer than if they were your own until you literally couldn’t anymore. It’s admirable that you still want to look out for him, but maybe Karen and Gavin are the ones that need looking after now.” Harry reaches over, placing his hand on Louis’ arm. “You’re not betraying him by telling her, you’re simply bringing his family together. Making them whole.”

Louis’ eyes have lost the spark of humor they’d had before Harry started speaking. Now, his gaze is soft, his touch tender as he reaches over and brushes a strand of hair off of Harry’s face. “I needed that. Thank you.”

“It’s what friends are for, right?” Harry says quietly, chest filled with a charged sort of quivering.

“Right,” Louis says, slowly pulling his hand back. “Exactly.” He sits up, running a hand through his hair. “I should go.” 

Harry falls onto his back but watches from the corner of his eyes Louis walks toward the door, stopping just before he passes through it. 

“Hey, Harry?”

“What?”

“I’m glad we’re finally friends.”

Harry closes his eyes. “Me too.”

When Louis closes the door behind himself, Harry lets out a deep, ragged breath, not sure if the new feeling in his chest is relief or disappointment. 

~*~*~

“Oh, hello, Sophia,” Harry says, surprised to see Sophia and Gavin when he walks into the living room after arriving home from work. “Hello, Gavin!”

“Uncle Harry!” Gavin hollers, holding a remote control toy truck. “Look what Niall got me!”

“Wow. That was very nice of Niall,” Harry says, looking at his friend in surprise and trying to ignore the way his heart clenches every time Gavin calls him ‘uncle Harry’.

“What? I’m allowed to spoil Liam’s kid,” Niall shrugs. “I got permission from his mum first.”

“Wanna play with me?” Gavin tugs on Harry’s trousers.

“Uh, sure. Let me just get a quick shower first and then we can take your truck out to the back garden, okay?”

“Okay!”

Harry showers and changes into some shorts and a t-shirt, forgoing socks and shoes, and hurrying out to the living room to let Gavin know he’s ready.

In the hallway, he runs into Zayn. 

“Hey,” Zayn says, a little sheepish. 

“Hey.”

“Do you know where the photo that belongs here went,” he asks, pointing to the bare spot on the wall next to him.

“Yeah, I, uh, have it in here,” Harry tells him, pointing back into his room and then turning to lead the way. 

“Thanks.” Zayn accepts the photo back, looking down at it. “And thanks for coming to talk to me the other day. Before the beach. It would have killed me if I’d actually destroyed it.”

“You’re welcome.”

Zayn holds up the photo, gesturing toward the hall. “I’m just gonna… put this back where it belongs.”

“Zayn?”

Zayn stops with his back turned toward Harry. He doesn’t turn around and that’s fine. Harry knows things might be difficult between them for a while. 

“I’m still here for you when you need someone. I always will be.”

Zayns shoulders slump as the tension leaves his body and he nods at the admission. “I know.” He looks over his shoulder, giving Harry a half-smile. “Ditto.”

“Harry, are you coming?” Gavin asks, losing his patience when he can clearly see Harry just standing around doing nothing. 

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Harry laughs, jogging by Zayn to meet the little boy at the entrance to the kitchen. “Let’s go.”

They play with Gavin’s truck in the back garden until the sky opens up and rains them out.

~*~*~

Sophia and Gavin stay for dinner again. They get takeout this time so no one has to cook. It’s not as fun with Louis still at work but Harry doesn’t say so. After they eat, Niall and Sophia get cosy on the couch, chatting very close together, while Zayn and Harry watch over Gavin. They share smirks over the drawings they’re working on as they steal glances at Niall and Sophia every now and again. 

“What are you drawing, Uncle Harry?” Gavin asks, looking very confused at Harry’s drawing. 

“It’s a cat. Can’t you tell?”

“Ohhh. No. It doesn’t look like a cat,” Gavin informs him very matter-of-factly. “But it’s okay,” he says, reaching over to pat Harry’s cheek. “We can’t all be good at everything.”

Harry’s jaw drops in playful betrayal. “Gavin.”

Zayn snickers behind his hand.

“You shut up.”

“That’s a bad word, Uncle Harry.”

Zayn snickers again at Harry being reprimanded by a five year old. 

“It’s mean to laugh, Uncle Zayn,” Gavin tells him next, obviously more mature than both of them. 

“Yeah, Uncle Zayn,” Harry grins at the way Zayn’s face has gone from mischievous to shocked to moved in under sixty seconds. 

“Oi! Oi!” Louis calls out, loudly announcing his presence as he walks through the door, laden with work equipment.

“Oh gosh, what time is it?” Sophia asks, twisting Niall’s wrist to look at his watch. “It’s late, we should head out.”

“Wait, no! You can stay here,” Niall insists. “Louis weren’t you supposed to go home tonight?”

“Oh,” Louis stumbles back a little like he’s just been hit. “Right. Yeah, that was the original plan.”

“It was?” Harry asks, frowning. “Is your video shoot over?”

“I mean, it was over last Friday technically. Tonight was a different job. But yeah, I’ll just pack up and get out of your hair,” Louis says, looking around for his stuff.

“It’s still late though,” Harry reminds him. “Should you be going to your mother’s at this hour?”

“Not really,” Louis says worriedly.

“Look, I don’t want to put anyone out,” Sophia tries to say but Harry thinks he has a solution for everyone.

“No, it’s okay,” Harry tells her. “You and Gavin can stay on the pullout in here and Louis can stay in my room. Everyone wins.”

“Harry, are you sure you’re okay with that?” The concern in Louis’ eyes when he asks makes Harry even more certain.

“Of course, come on. I’ll help you get all your stuff in there.”

As soon as all of Louis’ things are dropped in Harry’s room, Louis grasps his wrist to get his full attention. “You don’t have to do this.”

“It’s what-”

“-what friends are for, I know,” Louis interrupts, wishing he’d never said that fucking phrase. “But friends also don’t overstay their welcome.”

“You’re welcome!” Harry protests, crossing his arms over his chest. “ _I’m_ not asking you to leave.”

“I was meant to leave Friday, Harry,” Louis reminds him. “I didn’t even ask if anyone minded me staying. I just did it.”

“Well, why did you do it then?”

Louis shrugs, not looking at him. “I dunno. I felt needed, I guess.”

“And you were,” Harry tells him, grabbing both of his biceps just tight enough to make him acknowledge how serious Harry is. “...You still are.”

Louis meets his eyes then, studying their depths. “If you’re really sure.”

Harry grins. “Better grab the bathroom soon if you want first shower. I’ll go get Sophia and Gavin fresh sheets.”

Louis shakes his head as he watches him go but he does so with a fond smile on his face.

Soon everyone is settled, ready for bed and Harry walks back into the room, shutting the door behind him. 

“Do you have a preference for which side?” Louis asks, toweling his hair dry. 

“Not really,” Harry answers, waiting where he is for Louis to make a choice. “It never mattered to me.”

“Can I have the right side?”

“Sure,” Harry shrugs, moving to the left side of the bed and climbing in. 

“Thanks for doing this.” Louis climbs in next to him after tossing his towel in the hamper. “I really wasn’t looking forward to going to my mum’s so late.”

“Shush,” Harry tells him, putting his hand over Louis’ mouth so he is unable to spout anymore rubbish. “I told you, I want you here.”

Louis nips at Harry’s hand playfully until he removes it with a surprised ‘yip’. 

“Arse,” Harry mutters with a laugh. 

“It’s my finest quality,” Louis grins at him.

Harry snorts but doesn’t deny it. 

"Why is this suddenly so easy?" Harry asks abruptly. Being around Louis for long periods used to be difficult to withstand, but lately, Harry feels the most drawn to him. He's a flower and Harry is a very large bee drawn to the nectar of his kindness and caring.

"Why is what so easy?"

"This. Spending time with you. We used to always be at odds with each other. Why is it so different now?"

Louis clears his throat, looking away as he absently tugs at the collar of his shirt. "That may, possibly, be my fault. A little bit."

"What are you talking about? How is it your fault?" Harry rolls on his side to look at him, pulling the duvet into his chest like a shield.

"In the past, I may have... been an arse on purpose?" Louis admits with a grimace.

Harry's jaw drops. "Wha-- Why?!? Did you really hate me that much? Were you trying to get me to leave Liam?"

"No, no! Nothing like that!" Louis protests, reaching out and rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Harry’s arm like he can smooth away his worries. Maybe he can. Harry is willing to give him a chance to try.

“I need more than that, Louis. Explain please.”

"There were very few people that Liam let in after Sophia. And you were the first person that he let himself care about so deeply. I'd never want to ruin that." Louis’ eyes plead with Harry to believe him.

"Then what, Louis?” Harry is truly confused and hurt right now.

"I, um..." It takes Louis a moment to allow himself to say it. Maybe he still shouldn't, but Harry asked and Louis has already kept too many secrets from him. More than he ever wanted to. "I liked you, okay? From the moment Liam introduced us, I knew that you were someone special, Harry. I liked you a bit too much actually."

"You--" Harry can't seem to speak as he looks at Louis with pained understanding. He feels breathless too.

"I pushed you away from me because I refused to let myself be the reason that Liam didn't get his happy ending."

Harry stares at Louis Tomlinson for a moment as feelings of shock and endearment and some other emotion he can’t deny but isn’t ready to name, wash over him, a tidal wave that threatens to drown him where he lays. “You are not who I thought you were,” he tells Louis, and he knows that his tone carries each and every one of the things he’s feeling.

Louis smirks at him. “You’re exactly who I thought you were.”

“A bit crazy?” Harry jokes, needing a bit of levity so that he doesn’t immediately acknowledge that Louis has just confirmed he still considers Harry as someone who is special to him.

“A bit incredible.”

Harry closes his eyes, breathing evenly to try and calm down the exhilarated beating of his scarred but slowly healing heart.

“Sorry,” Louis says, misinterpreting Harry’s actions. “I shouldn’t have--”

He’s cut off by Harry leaning over and pressing their lips together, soft, repeated kisses until Louis buries a hand in Harry’s hair and holds him closer, giving in to the magnetic force that’s been building between them. 

“Wait, wait,” Louis pulls away to say, giving himself a second to catch his breath before he can even look at Harry. “If this is a grief thing--”

“It’s not,” Harry promises, caressing Louis’ cheek. “I swear.”

Louis sighs, brushing a thumb over Harry’s lips. “I need you to be very sure about this, Harry. If you have even the smallest bit of doubt, I need to know.”

“There’s no doubt,” Harry tells him, leaning in to kiss him softly. “No fear.” Another warm, sweet press of lips. “And tomorrow, there will be no regrets.”

Louis gives in when Harry’s lips meet his again, trusting Harry to tell him if he changes his mind. Their clothes make their way to the floor piece by piece as they undress each other with reverent fingers.

“How loud do you get?” Louis asks Harry in a playful whisper, breath tickling Harry’s ear.

“I can be quiet when I want to be,” Harry answers with a raised eyebrow. “And, just for your peace of mind, I did lock the door on the way in.”

“Oh good,” Louis laughs, giving Harry a playful bite on the neck.

“Ohhh,” Harry moans deeply but thankfully not too loudly, at the feel of it, the placement of the bite causing his body to flood with pleasure and adrenaline. His hands find Louis’ waist, fingers digging into warm flesh as he tries to say without words just how much he wants.

“Shhh,” Louis grins wickedly, rutting into Harry’s naked body.

“You shh,” Harry retorts, pushing his body up into the hard arc of Louis’.

“How do you want to do this?” Louis asks, kissing Harry’s cheek chastely, in direct opposition to the way he reaches a hand between them to slowly, teasingly stroke Harry’s cock.

“It matters to me,” Louis says, bending to flick a pink nub with his tongue before sucking on it harshly and making Harry twist his fingers into his hair to hold his head there. “I want to give you what you want.”

 _“You’re_ what I want. Congratulations. Job well done,” Harry answers breathlessly.

“Fuck off.” Louis laughs again, giving Harry’s nipple another teasing lick. He’s not sure he’s ever laughed this much during sex or spoken this much.

“Orrrr,” Harry draws out with a lazy grin, gripping Louis’ arse cheeks with both hands. “Just hear me out…. You could fuck me.”

“Would you like that?”

“I Wood,” Harry giggles. “Get it? Wood?”

“Oh my god,” Louis groans, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. “You’re an idiot. And I’m an idiot for wanting you.”

Harry’s giggles turn into full-blown laughter at Louis’ response to his joke.

Louis raises his head with a smile on his face, Harry’s laugh is sort of the best thing he’s ever heard. “Do you have lube for my wood?” Louis asks with a roll of his eyes. The things he’s willing to do for this man.

Harry’s grin takes on a hue of pride as he looks at Louis before rolling to reach the side table where he pulls out lube and a condom.

“You still used condoms?” Louis side-eyes the item in question.

“Sometimes,” Harry says simply, rolling over to lie on his back again. 

Louis shrugs in acceptance and sets the condom aside, opening the lube and spreading it out on his fingers. He rubs his fingers together to warm it up a little before shifting his body over Harry’s and reaching down between his legs. 

“Mmm,” Harry hums in pleasant surprise at how warm the liquid is when Louis starts fingering Harry open, but then Harry grunts in discomfort and Louis freezes.

“Am I doing something wrong?” 

“No, not wrong,” Harry assures him. “Prep has never been my favorite part of sex by any means. I’d kind of just rather you stick it in, if you’re okay with that.” He’s grinning now, and he laughs when Louis rolls his eyes at the juvenile wording of Harry’s statement. 

“I can do that if you want.” Louis states reaching for the condom. He rolls it on and slicks up his cock, moving back to kneel between Harry’s legs. He moves closer, stopping to check with Harry, “Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you’re ready? Can you handle this?”

“Yes, Louis,” Harry says with narrowed eyes and Louis thinks Harry probably has an inkling of what he’s up to.

“I don’t think you’re ready—”

Harry sits up swiftly, slapping a hand over Louis’ mouth. “If you say ‘for this jelly’, I will not have sex with you tonight.”

Louis pulls Harry’s hand away, smirking at him. “But you will some other time??”

Harry puts his hand back, staring at Louis with narrowed eyes and twisting his lips to the side thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Louis giggles behind Harry’s hand. 

“Promise me you won’t say it?”

Louis nods his head and Harry looks sceptical but drops his hand.

“I can’t help it if my body’s too bootylicious for ya, babe.”

“Ugh,” Harry groans with an exasperated grin as he flops back on the bed. He wraps his legs around Louis’ waist pulling him down with him and trapping him with his cock pressed against Harry’s arse. “Get in.”

Louis is still giggling as he positions his cock and presses in slowly. Maybe this is what he’s been missing his whole life, someone he can share laughter _and_ sex with. And it’s okay if those moments overlap. He never thought he could have both at once.

“Finally,” Harry laughs once Louis’ buried in him completely. 

Louis blinks down at him, feeling less like laughing and more like he’s found his place in the world. “Finally,” he repeats softly, leaning in to kiss Harry as they begin to move, making love tenderly until they each gasp with the force of their orgasms.

They clean each other up with the supplies Harry has in his bedroom with soft, lingering touches and sweet, playful laughter. Kissing as they unhurriedly redress in their pants and climb back into bed together. 

Harry smiles as they face each other and Louis reaches out to clasp their hands together briefly. He raises them to his lips to kiss Harry’s knuckles before nudging Harry to turn over so that he can cuddle up behind him, both breathing peacefully as they fall asleep wrapped around each other.

~*~*~

“Saw Louis leaving your room this morning,” Zayn tells Harry the next day as he’s sitting down to look over some paperwork left over from the office. 

“He did sleep there last night,” Harry raises a questioning brow at him. 

“He was just wearing his pants,” Zayn retorts, returning the look to Harry. 

“He can wear whatever he wants when he sleeps.” Harry looks back down at his paperwork, pretending like he doesn’t feel the blush that he knows is staining his cheeks. 

“Mmhmm,” Zayn hums in entirely unconvinced agreement. 

“Is this going to make things tense between us again?” 

“I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing, Harry. You’re both my best friends and we _just_ lost Liam. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt if you end up moving faster than you’re ready for.”

“I appreciate the concern, Zayn, but I think you’re making a bigger deal out of it than it is,” Harry says, feeling defensive as he packs up his stuff to move to his room.

“You’re telling me that you and Louis sleeping together is no big deal?” Zayn follows behind him.

“No,” Harry shouts, turning around to face him and add, “and even if it was, it’s none of your business.” He leaves Zayn in the hallway as he storms into his room, slamming the door behind him. 

In the kitchen, Louis lowers the teacup he was preparing to the counter, an ache blossoming in his chest as he grabs his jacket and walks out the back door. He’ll come back for the rest of his stuff later. 

~*~*~

Louis hesitates at Harry’s bedroom door when he returns for his stuff later. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat before knocking on the door.

“Hey,” Harry smiles sweetly when he opens the door and sees Louis. He reaches out, wrapping Louis up in a warm, inviting hug that Louis returns automatically. His body doesn’t know how to not respond to Harry. “I missed you today. Did you have a gig?”

“No, I was visiting with my mum actually.”

“Oh. That’s nice,” Harry says, taking Louis' hand and pulling him farther into the room. “I guess I have been monopolizing your time. She’s probably missed you.”

“Actually, we were talking about me moving out.”

“Oh?” Harry freezes, eyes going wide. 

“Relax, Harry. I’m not suggesting I move back in here. Mum’s engaged now, so they don’t really need me taking up space over there anymore. And…”

“And?”

“And I got a job offer back in LA. Think I’m gonna take it.”

”You’re leaving?” Harry asks, stricken the news Louis has just given him.

The hurt clear on his face is too painful for Louis to look at so he turns his face away. “Yeah, I think that it would be best for everyone.”

“What happened to ‘I need you to be sure about this’?” Harry says, voice strained as he throws Louis’ words from their night together back at him. 

Well, two can play that game. Louis raises his head, meeting Harry’s watery eyes defiantly. “I don’t know how sure you can possibly be if it was _no big deal_ to you, Harry.”

“What?” Harry looks so confused and Louis almost wants to take it back but he knows what he heard. 

“I know you had to have felt what I felt last night. And I’m fairly certain I made it clear how much it would mean to me before it happened, did I not?”

“You did. It meant just as much to me. Louis.”

“Well then I’m confused because I heard you tell Zayn this afternoon that what happened between us was not a big deal.”

Harry scoffs, shaking his head and stalking over to Louis. “You idiot. I was on the defensive. Of course I said the opposite of whatever Zayn was suggesting, I was being contrary because he was pissing me off. It’s none of his business what we do.”

Louis breathes out through his nose, not sure how to argue against that, or even if he should be trying anymore. “So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that last night meant everything to me,” Harry tells him, reaching a hand up to cradle his cheek. “And I’m asking you not to leave.”

“You are?” Louis feels a little breathless. He was expecting to leave here with a broken heart, not an intact one, so full of love it’s near to bursting.

“I am.” Harry smiles at him softly, a warmth in his eyes that makes Louis’ insides feel all weak and quivery. “Will you stay?” He asks in a whisper, his lips ghosting over Louis’.

“The night or forever?” Louis replies in a daze as his eyes drift shut in anticipation of feeling Harry’s mouth against his. 

Harry laughs, “Let’s start with tonight, lover boy, and tomorrow, and for a good stretch of the near future. At least long enough to figure out what we want?”

“Okay,” Louis agrees, easily, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist and pulling him in to get that kiss, dammit.

~*~*~

“Are you nervous?” Harry asks, though he knows that the question is a dumb one even before it’s out of his mouth when he sees Sophia run her hands over her dress for the third time in less than a minute as they wait for Karen. They’re waiting at her favorite restaurant where she’d agreed to meet Harry for lunch. He’d told her he had some people he wanted her to meet but hadn’t told her the whole story over the phone. This seems more like a “face to face” situation.

“I am scared shitless,” Sophia answers quietly, allowing herself the curse only because Niall and Zayn are occupying Gavin at the other side of the table.

“Karen is a wonderful woman, she’s going to love you both,” Harry assures her.

“Oh, I’ve met Karen,” Sophia tells him. “Did I not mention that? I was Liam’s girlfriend before his parents divorced. I’d been to quite a few family dinners before they separated. I’m not worried about her liking me, I’m worried about how hurt she’s going to be when she finds out that Liam had this secret life he never told her about.”

“Yeah, that’s really going to suck,” Harry agrees.

“Oh god, that’s her.” Sophia straightens her dress again, staring out the window where Karen is walking towards the front door of the restaurant, Louis talking animatedly at her side.

“Harry,” Karen says his name fondly, as she walks over to hug him hello. “Look who I ran into!” She gestures to Louis.

“Sorry,” Louis tells him with a grimace. “I tried to text that I was running late.”

“It’s alright. At least you’re here now,” Harry replies, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss Louis hello. Louis looks like he’s having the same problem.

“Who is your… Sophia Smith, is that you?” Karen lifts her hands to her cheeks in surprise before reaching out to hug Sophia.

“It’s so good to see you, Ms. Payne,” Sophia greets her warmly, returning her hug.

“You call me Karen, dear,” Liam’s mother tells her, patting her hand as they separate. “Shall we sit?”

“Actually,” Sophia says before Karen can try to move to a chair. “There’s someone else you should meet first.” She twists around to call out to her son, “Gavin, come here, love. I want to introduce you to someone.”

Harry watches as Niall leads Gavin around the table by the hand and he can see the moment Karen sees him, how quickly she grasps who he must be.

“Oh my,” she gasps, with a hand to her mouth as she kneels on the restaurant floor to get a better look at him. “Those eyes, and his nose.” She turns back to Sophia with tears already in her eyes. “He’s Liam’s?”

“Yes,” she confirms. “This is your grandson, Gavin.”

“Oh my god,” Karen cries. “Hello, Gavin.”

“Hello, Nana,” Gavin says, watching her with such concern in his familiar brown eyes. “Do you need a hug?”

“Yes, please,” Karen cries, but it’s a half laugh too at how adorable her son’s child is. She holds Gavin tightly when he hugs her, relishing having her grandson in her arms.

Once Karen releases Gavin, they all sit down and she greets the people she missed when she’d arrived.

A waiter comes and they order some food but soon Karen can’t hold her questions back anymore.

“Did Liam know about him?” she asks Sophia and that question has all other conversation at the table screeching to a halt.

“Yes, he did,” Sophia tells Karen, placing a hand over the older woman’s on the table. “There are some things I need to tell you.”

Karen listens, and cries, as Sophia tells her about her marriage to Liam and the resulting pregnancy. She tells her about how ashamed Liam had been of himself for letting his father force him into being someone he wasn’t. Especially when he knew there were people like his mother who would love him and accept him just as he was. He always wanted Karen to see him as the son she knew and loved and not think less of him for giving in to his father’s demands. Sophia tells her about when they separated and then divorced and how Liam had to find a way to balance his new life, the one he’d always wanted, with the one he’d left behind. How he took care of them, even if he couldn’t always physically be there, and how good he was with his son.

Karen has a hard time with it but seems to come to terms with everything relatively well. “I still can’t believe that after all these years, he never told me. I would have been so happy to know I had a grandson.”

Something about her words unsettles Harry, knocking loose a distant, haunting memory.

~*~*~

_“Today was the best,” Harry grins contentedly, leaning back in his seat._

_“Top five?” Liam asks, glancing over from the driver’s seat with a smirk._

_Harry puts a finger to his chin, playfully contemplative. They’d spent the day floating along a lazy river on rubber rings, talking about anything and everything, and kissing when their words ran out. “Top_ **_one_ ** _,” Harry answers with a grin at his boyfriend._

_Liam gasps, just as jokingly. “Best day ever?”_

_“Best. Day. Ever.”_

_“Wow.” LIam says with awe in his tone. “I made the favorites list.”_

_“You are the favorites list,” Harry slaps his arm lightly with a chuckle._

_Liam gets really quiet for a while and Harry settles into the silence. Just having Liam next to him is enough._

_“Hey, Harry,” Liam calls for his attention, more somber than he was earlier. “There’s something I need to tell you.”_

_Harry rolls his head to the side to look at him. “Will it make me more happy, or less happy?”_

_“Less happy, I think,” Liam tells him, carefully keeping his eyes on the road._

_Something about his answer paired with the way he’s studiously keeping his eyes forward, paying attention to every minute detail out the windscreen makes Harry’s chest tighten with fear._

_“Then, don’t tell me.”_

~*~*~

“Harry, dear, are you okay?” Karen’s voice brings him back to the present and Harry realises belatedly that there are tears on his cheeks. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Harry answers, wiping at his cheeks quickly and giving Karen a smile. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying that I’m going to get together with both Liam and his father’s solicitors as soon as possible and get this account situation straightened out. I won’t let my grandchild and his mother starve.”

“He’ll probably say that a paternity test is in order,” Louis tells her, “but I don’t think any of us thinks that’ll be a problem,” as he looks at Gavin fondly. 

“It’d be good to have the test set up already. Thank you, Louis,” Karen says, hugging his neck. 

Lunch wraps up quickly with Karen hugging everyone goodbye and making Sophia promise to bring Gavin to visit her soon. Before long, only Harry and Louis are left in the restaurant. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Louis asks, taking Harry’s hand in his own. “I saw you crying earlier.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just-- I think I figured out why Liam never told me about Gavin and Sophia.”

“Why?” 

Harry laughs ruefully, feeling stupid for putting himself through so much heartache. “I told him not to.”

“Sounds like there’s a story there,” Louis says, leaving it up to Harry to decide whether or not he wants to tell it. 

“Yeah, there is. Come on. I’ll tell it to you on the way home.”

~*~*~

**Three months later**

“You sure you’re ready to live out in the world on your own?” Niall asks mischievously, ducking out of the way when Zayn aims a slap at his head. 

“I can manage perfectly fine on my own, thank you,” Zayn says dryly, smirking at his former roommate. “Besides, it’s getting to be a full house in here.” He nods towards Sophia and Gavin over Niall’s shoulder where they’re at work trying and failing to correctly build Gavin a racecar bed in Zayn’s old room. 

“The more the merrier, right?” Niall tries hopefully, making Zayn laugh. 

“Only in the event of an-”

“-orgy,” Niall says in unison with Zayn, a grin growing on his face. “I’m gonna miss you, man.”

“I’ll miss you too. You know that.” Zayn lifts a hand to the back of Niall’s head and pulls him into a hug. “And, hey, I’m not even that far away. We can visit all the time.”

“Yeah, well you better.”

“Is it my turn?” Louis asks, hugging Zayn without waiting for an answer. “Be good. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That doesn’t leave a lot that I can’t do, Lou,” Zayn laughs, ducking when Louis tries to ruffle his hair in retaliation. His foot twists and he falls backwards only to be caught by Harry.

“Careful,” Harry says with a smirk. “Getting hurt before you even leave the house isn’t going to prove to this lot that you’ll be safe on your own.”

“Oh, shut it,” Zayn rolls his eyes goodnaturedly, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and holding him tight for a moment. He pulls back before long, looking at Harry earnestly. “I know things got a little tense between us this last year. Sorry for being a nosy dick.”

“Sorry for being an insufferable twat.”

“Eh. You weren’t _insufferable._ Much.”

“Dick.” 

“Twat.”

Harry hugs Zayn again, holding him longer and already missing him despite the fact that he’ll only be a ten minute drive away. He hopes he’s not opening wounds when he says “love you.”

“Love you, too, man,” Zayn returns, pulling out of his arms with a serene grin. “You’ll be next, you know.”

“What, to move out?”

“Yeah. S’what I suspect,” he says, watching Louis make matters worse with the racecar bed while Niall tries to salvage some of his hard work from the nefarious clutches of the structurally challenged.

“Yeah, maybe,” Harry concedes, laughing at his ridiculous boyfriend.

“Isn’t it weird? How life takes all these little twists and turns we never expect and yet, we always seem to end up right where we were meant to go?” Zayn muses.

Harry turns to him. “Picking up all the people we were meant to befriend and love and call family along the way.”

Zayn smiles. “Truth.”

It is weird, Harry thinks. And sad sometimes. He still thinks that Liam should be there with them, a part of the beautiful family he created. He should get to see them all together and happy, knowing that he loved them all even if he didn’t love them all in the same ways. 

And even though some parts of that family are splintering off and others getting closer, they’ll always be family. 

Whether he knows it or not, Liam did that. Harry hopes he knows it. And he hopes that Liam knows that Harry loves him and misses him, even if missing him turned Harry into a different person entirely. A person who’s in love with Louis. 

Somehow, Harry thinks Liam would understand that. Louis was always the person he trusted the most with his secrets, it would make sense that Harry would be able to entrust him with his heart. 

After all, if Zayn is right, they all end up where they’re supposed to be in the long run. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If you liked it, please let me know. If you didn’t, please don’t.


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